Shifting Sands
by Mej Cat
Summary: Unfortunately, Lotus is not much of a ninja. Desperate to improve, she goes as far as asking Gaara, the current Kazekage to take her on as a student... But reformed or not, Gaara is struggling both with the social changes required of him and the displeasure of the ever present Shukaku. Can a symbiotic relationship be established or is change just out of their reach? Gaara/OC
1. Inadequate

This is my canon Naruto fanfiction including my OC's from Psychosis. They are all the same, except for a distinct lack of mental disorders... for the most part. I'm hoping you guys enjoy it. Remember, I am more than open to feedback. Think something needs changing? Review and I'll see what I can do about it.

I do not own Naruto. All hail the great and powerful Masashi Kishimoto. I own my OC's and that's nothing to clap about so... Onward!

* * *

_**Shifting Sands**_

_**Chapter 1: Inadequate**_

An overheated dusk was just beginning to settle over the hilly deserts of Sunagakure. Faint smatters of milky constellations began to flicker into existence as the wind took on a slight chill. As it danced through the city streets and across the empty expanse of desert, the sand swirled in small whirlwinds, the rough particles whispering a song into the newly spawned night.

Just at the edge of the city gates, an anxious adolescent paced a rut into the cooling sand. Her eyes flicked to the edge of the skyline every so often, and she nibbled at a too long strand of thin lank hair.

"Come on you guys..." The mission had been simple. Easy enough that a low ranking genin, just out of the newly established school could have accomplished it. That was what the Kazekage had said and yet... here she was. Stranded. While her teammates ran off to do their duty. Without her. Again.

Had she mentioned they had left her?

_Maybe I should go and look for them... _She thought this hopefully, a grandiose image of her rushing to the rescue- her hair flying, and kunais flashing as she bravely fought alongside the ninja of her cell, briefly entered her mind.

And then she saw the dark smudge on the horizon. The returning forms of her team.

The hopeful thoughts withered and died like a water lilly in a sandbox, and the sting of another disappointment intensified until it had pricked her eyes.

* * *

"Oh, God, she's waiting for us." A jewel eyed girl ground her feet for purchase in the hill she had just landed on. The others stopped a mere few paces ahead of her.

"I feel bad for leaving her..." began the other, glancing back at her sister. "It wasn't that hard... Surely she could have come?"

"The mission may have been easy," The leader of this group, a morose boy of seventeen quipped. "But you and I are all fully aware that Lotus' aptitude for even the simplest of tasks is..."

He chose to tactfully trail off.

"Should we try to go around her?"

"No. Let her see the consequences of her weakness." He straightened his legs and prepared to propel himself forward. "Come on."

He darted forward, followed closely by the other two.

* * *

Lotus scuffed her foot and hummed softly, trying to avoid meeting their gaze when her friends finally touched back in Sunagakure.

"So... how was the mission, Enma?"

The boy arched an eyebrow, looking down at her through his cold green eyes.

"Fine. The execution was exceedingly simple." She attempted a smile as if she were glad to hear that.

In reality, it stung and made her a little mad. Maybe a lot mad. Maybe pissed.

"Oh... glad to hear it." there was a rock down by her sandaled feet. She turned it over with her toe, trying to focus on the wavy design the ridges of her shoe left in the surrounding sand.

"Um, we're sorry for leaving without you. It's just that... uh, I mean... y'know." Her friend tried to make eye contact, face downcast and more than a little guilty.

"That's okay, Jigoku." said Lotus, peeping up through her bangs at her. "I understand."

There was a very pregnant silence. It rested oppressively over the four of them, dragging on and on until finally, Jigoku feigned a yawn.

"Hah, I'm tired. Come on Izanami. We should really get to bed." She grabbed her twin by the arm, beginning to drag her off down the street. "See you guys tomorrow!"

"Yeah, matta ne!" Izanami called over her shoulder, nearly tripping at the pace of her joint escape.

That left Enma and Lotus. The two watched the twins disappear around a slow corner before Lotus turned a severe, accusatory look on her friend.

"Enma... you can't keep leaving me out of missions like this!"

"I can. I am in charge of this cell, and I decide what's best for us." Lotus glowered at him, her blue eyes smoldering with indignation.

"So, what? I'm not included in "us"?" She spat. "Am I so useless that I can't even be considered a part of this team's collective effort anymore?"

"You can't even keep up with us in our daily training!" He kept his voice steady, but there was a lethal edge to his words. It belied the venomous words bubbling just under the surface, pooling up on his tongue.

"Shut up, Enma. You know that's not-"

"Don't start. I'm not going to tolerate insubordination from you of all people." He took a step foward, his impressive height giving him the advantage of intimidation. "Close in age or not, I was chosen to lead this cell. Friend or not, you will listen to me, or I will have you removed from this cell. Is that clear?"

She fell silent, clenching her jaw.

"Well?"

"What's the point of being on the cell if I don't even go on missions anymore?"

Enma sighed, running a hand through his dark hair and shutting his eyes. "Look, keep practicing, okay? We'll try again tomorrow, perhaps."

Perhaps... Fuck perhaps. She wanted a definite yes or a no.

He patted her lightly on the shoulder and turned to walk away leaving her alone. Lotus stood there a few minutes more, her hair drifting around her in lazy tendrils.

She watched him go, chewing on the inside of her lip and seething. She was tired of being underestimated, tired of being forgotten, tired of being inadequate. Especially since she was working so damn hard. She practiced every day, probably more than she should. It had been a true struggle just to get out of bed this morning.

And for whatever reason, even that wasn't working. As much as she hated to admit it, it was becoming increasingly clear that Lotus was going to need some extra help. Who could she go to, though? Enma wouldn't have time, Izanami was too much of a scatter brain and she would _never _let her live it down. Jigoku might be a good candiate, but there was no way that the soft spoken kunoichi would be able to help her improve. She was just too nice.

Lotus began to pace, her eyes narrowed almost comically as she tried to force her mind to produce a name. There had to be somebody...

But who?

* * *

Gaara leaned back in his chair, expressionless as he took in the visage of the domed ceiling above him. He felt almost certain that he would be able to leave the office at a decent hour tonight. There was a formidable pile of mission scrolls, but he had already determined to assign them tomorrow morning. He had learned that while assigning them ahead of time gave him more time to analyze the best team for the job, it wasn't necessary.

Most of the shinobi in Sunagakure were on par with the missions coming in. The rarely had anything above a B rank these days.

He sat forward and reached for his tea, taking a small sip of the bitter green liquid. He found himself ingesting more and more bitter or astringent iron tasting things to replace the blood he had abstained from since his encounter with the Uzumaki boy.

As much as he hated to admit it, he missed it a little. Shukaku was fond of preying preying on any moments of weakness or, much more recently exhaustion. Best to stop this train of thought now before a loud and fairly constant stream of temptations began pounding through his head.

Aside from the taste, the caffeine usually eased his headaches, another product of sharing his mind with an obnoxious bloodthirsty bijuu.

The door to his office creaked open slightly, putting him on edge. His sand rustled audibly in the calabash gourd, and his head pounded furiously as he focused on the perpetrator. A set of bony pale fingers clutched the thick wood of the door, shielding a frightened blue eye.

"Um, hello, Kazekage-sama?" a thin, pointed face followed. He stared at her blankly. She entered the room slowly, her eyes never leaving his. He allowed himself to relax a bit. She didn't appear to be much of a threat. The aura of fear radiating from her was thick, almost tangible.

Not a threat, he decided. Just a nuisance.

"I believe," he began without much care or interest, "That it is customary to either make an appointment or wait for me to allow you into my office." She cringed slightly, and ducked her chin.

"Sorry. So sorry. Um... I'm just a little... out of my element." Terrified was more accuarate really. She knew of Sabaku no Gaara's fearsome reputation. He squinted slightly, taking her in. She was familiar. He must have assigned her and her team a mission this morning.

He scanned the only document left on his desk while she babbled nervously, applying his signature only after he had deemed it appropriate. That was that. For tonight at least.

As a consequence of this, however, Gaara only caught the last half of her sentence, something about needing help if she ever wanted to be of any use to her team.

He lifted a hand to silence her, his long white sleeve swishing decisively. "What do you want?" She opened her mouth and he silenced her with a harsh stare. "I do not want another stream of incessant babble. I want a concise sentence." he sat back, staring at her intently.

"I want you to take me on as your student!"

* * *

So... I'm going to cut it off there. I don't see any need to continue this chapter for now. Hope you like it, please read and review!


	2. Patience is a Virtue

Next chapter. I don't own Gaara or any canon Naruto characters. I own the previously named Enma, Lotus, Izanami, and Jigoku. Hope you like it.

* * *

Gaara's only visible reaction was a blink of his dark rimmed eyes. That was certainly not what he had been expecting from someone as small as the girl in front of him.

She stood there, eyes wide and chewed on a strand of hair. "If... if you want to, of course." she amended seeming to have lost her nerve. The thought was laughable. He had toyed with the idea of being a teacher, but the few lessons he had given that one kunoichi, Matsuri, had required such a large amount of energy: Something he did not have much of these days.

The kazekage did not answer her for what seemed a very, very long time. Finally, he shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"No." He stood up to leave, grabbing his gourd from its corner and straightening a paper on his way past the desk.

"Please! Please, help me." she clasped her hands in front of her, eyes wide and pleading. "Please."

"No." he repeated. The deep ache in his skull throbbed and Shukaku mumbled something rude. He couldn't quite make it out, he was too tired.

"Why not?" He sighed. Generally, he would respond with as much patience as he could. It was the way a Kazekage should treat disputes, of course. Tonight, however, he did not have the resolve. He needed to get home before he lost it. Instead, he resorted to an old trick of his.

He fixed her with an icy glare, his lips set in a firm line. She flinched and raised a hand as if she feared a physical retaliation and shifted slightly out of his path of travel. Gaara felt a slight twinge of guilt at the reaction, but continued to move past her. One hand twitched slightly as another wave of pain hit the back of his head.

Shukaku was antsy tonight.

Recovering with admirable speed, she scurried ahead of him and planted her small frame in the doorway, both arms outstretched. "I," she paused and cleared her throat."I won't move until you help me!"

Unexpected as that was, Gaara remained passive. There was no way this naïve little notion would remain in the little twit's head for much longer. She was nervous already, and he was fully aware of how his eyes affected people. He resigned himself to another thirty seconds at the most.

However, the seconds dragged by and mutated into minutes. The minutes began to stack up, much to his surprise and annoyance.

The corner of his mouth twitched downward, and his eyes narrowed a bit. "Could you… could you at least tell me why?" Would this torment never end? He shouldn't have to explain himself. He had said no, and no means no and he was the Kazekage. So, dammit! Go away.

"First and foremost," began Gaara in a low, tired voice. "You have a cell leader for that. The leader teaches his teammates." She opened her mouth, but seemed to think better of it. She snapped it shut and waited for him to continue. "Aside from that, I'm..." Tired? On the verge of a mental breakdown? "Busy."

"Please...? I'll work hard!" she allowed her arms to fall to her sides, but remained in his way. "And I know my cell leader won't-" Gaara finally lost his patience. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist sharply, but only twisting it slightly in a natural position.

It didn't hurt per se, but it was a bit frightening. "I said no." his voice had lowered to a dangerous half whisper, and his eyes had narrowed to shadowy slits. "Don't ask again." He pushed past her and released her hand, watching as she stumbled to the side and landed against the wall.

"I'd suggest you start with your balance."

* * *

It had only been a month or two since Gaara had been chosen to fill in the position of Kazekage. He was still unsure as to whether he had been given this position out of respect to his late father, fear of him, or maybe, just maybe out of faith in his ability to change.

He was fairly certain that it was the second. Not that he blamed them. He had been quite a terror not too long ago. He had been fairly shocked when his brother and sister forgave him so readily. The astonishment at being considered, let alone selected for the esteemed position of Kazekage had nearly been tangible.

Of course, he had remained perfectly composed and hidden behind his neat little mask. He had very politely thanked them and hidden his joy.

It had been much too good to be true. The task itself was difficult, which he had anticipated. Especially now, after the ruckus they had caused in the leaf village.

The village was in complete chaos, working out treaties with the Leaf and working to replace valuable Shinobi who had been killed in the war, if you could call it that. And of course, who could forget the generous budget cuts from the Daimyo of the land? Those had been a major factor in the attempted overthrow, if he recalled correctly.

Which he did, make no mistake.

He had also learned just how hard it was to change things in a village so firmly set in its ways. Especially if you happen to be an unwanted relic of their past mistakes.

It had taken an excruciating amount of effort just to get the newly formed school off the ground and _he _had had to fill in as a teacher until more suitable candidates were selected. That had been a nightmare and he had only had one student. One. He couldn't begin to fathom what multiple students would have been like. He had been forever grateful to Temari and Kankuro for taking the bulk of them.

It would have killed him. Metaphorically, or course. He wouldn't have been the one crushed into a bloody, sand filled pulp.

That was the true struggle right now. He had always been… goal oriented. The task of organizing teams and assigning missions or going to meetings to discuss funding and wartime strategies was easy. It was the social interaction that was hard. People still scurried away from him when he walked by, some of them still openly glared at him. One person had thrown something at him.

Before he would have crushed them or dismembered them. Maybe, if he was particularly angry he would have strewn their guts across the desert and watched the buzzards peck at the carcass.

But something had change and now he couldn't react… rather he wouldn't. He sincerely wanted to change. Uzumaki had inspired him beyond words and he truly wanted that happiness and that feeling of acceptance and trust.

Shukaku did not like it, mind you. The demon had been antsy to say the least. It had begun to hound him constantly, often needling at him to end some poor, unfortunate soul or another. Of course he refused. And of course, Shukaku got angry. It had begun to struggle, to rock in its cage and scratch its chains. Occasionally it cursed and screamed, but generally it settled for making little… suggestions.

Grim, unpleasant, and, appalling suggestions. What distressed him the most was that somewhere, deep down, some little part of him still listened and _considered _them. Enjoyed them.

A very small part that he had to struggle to control... and an ageless demon of almost limitless ingenuity and power were working against him. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, twenty eight to thirty one days a month and _**Three **__**hundred**__ and __**sixty days**__ a year_. But who was counting?

He was exhausted almost as soon as he began to move in the morning. Too tired to eat, too tired to train, and almost too tired to speak. His little dialogue with what's-her-name in his office had surprised him.

* * *

When he finally made it home, he was completely spent. It was blissfully quiet when he entered the narrow doorway into the beige building that was so sparsely furnished. Not out of necessity, rather the taste of all three siblings was very simple. They did not need much in the living room: they almost never entertained guests. It was unlikely that would ever change.

The bedrooms were down a flight of stairs, underground. That was the best way to keep them cool, but It guaranteed that the rooms were dark after the sun went down. Electricity was a scarce commodity. Especially in old houses like this one. They kept intending to add the feature, and they did have the money. It was just impossible to make time.

Mere weeks after their arrival in Suna, they had been called back by Tsunade in order to help with a retrieval mission. Shortly after that, Temari had been engrossed in ambassadorial duties having discovered a talent in oration and negotiation. Kankuro had taken his skill in puppet control to the Puppet corps and had continued teaching at the school. And Gaara, well… the paperwork wasn't just going to wait until their house was touched up.

He shuffled down to his room, dropping his gourd through the doorway and changing into something more comfortable. The darkness of his room was inviting, and he considered staying inside for the rest of the evening, perched at the head of his bed, back against the headboard. That was how he spent his nights, half meditating and half drowsing, but regrettably never fully asleep.

However, he did need to eat something. He had not since yesterday. Maybe. Had he eaten yesterday?

"Hey, Gaara? You home?" Kankuro had apparently just come through the door. Gaara shrugged off his fatigue and walked back up to the main room.

"Yes?"

Kankuro examined him. "You okay, bro? You look tired." Gaara shrugged and moved through the room, to the small kitchen.

"I'm fine." He opened the rice cooker and checked to see what was left. There was enough. Closing the dripping lid, he turned to the cabinet next to him and removed a deeply curved bowl, gold and blue, and a pair of chopsticks.

"So… how was the office?" Kankuro watched his brother amble purposefully through the kitchen. He pulled two *umeboshi from the fridge and retrieved two sheets of *nori. "Get a lot done?"

Gaara nodded, focusing on scooping out the right portion of rice into his bowl. He molded a divot into the middle of the small, white mountain. He deposited the fat, shriveled filler into the middle and kneaded it over itself and into a pseudo ball.

"Anything interesting happen?" He folded a dry green sheet of nori around it, and began the process again.

"A girl came in." He closed the rice cooker, and set the paddle back in the little cup of water. He picked up one of the warm onigiri and took a small bite. The vinegary taste of the ume-boshi bit his tongue.

Kakuro smirked and gave Gaara a suggestive wink. "Really? Was she cute?"

"She wanted me to take her as a student." Gaara continued, shutting down Kankuro's delusion with a flat, uninterested face. "And no, not particularly." He took another, larger bite of his dinner, testing carefully for the pit with his teeth.

"What did you say?" asked his brother, slightly disappointed by his brother's disinterest.

Gaara gave him a half amused glance. "What do you think?" He started on his second rice ball.

"You gave her… A definite maybe." He joked. It gave him a little swell of pride when Gaara's lip curved up into a very slight, almost invisible smile. The younger brother carefully set his dishes into the warm water left in the sink, carefully drying his hand on a dish towel. "Seriously, though." Kankuro lost his playful demeanor. "You seem really tired. You should go rest."

Gaara blinked as a tiny ache crackled through his skull. He nodded. "Is Temari home?"

"Mm… not yet." Kankuro checked the clock perched on the wall. "She had a meeting with the Council."

"Would you tell her I'm sorry I missed her?"

"Of course!" Kankuro pulled of his eared hat, shaking his hair into its general haphazard array. "Now, get to bed. Big brother's orders." Gaara walked slowly to the stairs and cast a weary look over his shoulder.

"See you tomorrow."

* * *

Gaara struggled through the night. He couldn't seem to focus. The dark room felt oppressive and his mind struggled to find a quiet niche. One where he wasn't tormented by the dry, scraping voice of his unwanted guest. His chest hurt, same place as always. Right above the pulsating organ that he had tried to kill for years. Malnourished and bruised, it continued to fight.

_Why are you trying so hard? _

"I want to be…"

_Wanted? Useful?_

Gaara's face fell in the dark, almost embarrassed to hear his most sincere heart's desire was being scrutinized by something so dirty and evil. The ache intensified.

_Oh, I know. Loved. Is that it?_

It laughed, and laughed, and laughed until Gaara wasn't quite sure what he wanted more: love or silence.

* * *

When Gaara emerged from his room the next morning, cynical and uncaring, he found Temari industriously buzzing around the kitchen, setting the rice cooker, checking the bentos on the counter and, somehow, miraculously pulling her hair into her trademark quadruple ponytail updo.

That was the true power of a kunoichi: Multitasking.

She noticed him as he began to leave.

"Hey! Don't forget your bento!" she pressed both hands to her hips, fixing him with an almost motherly look. "You left it here yesterday." Gaara reached back a hand and uncorked his gourd, sending a small strand of chakra filled sand out to scoop up the small box and deposit it into his free hand.

"Thank you." He corked his gourd and opened the door.

"Have a nice day." She called, and for a moment, his exhaustion was replaced by a very warm, soothing feeling in his chest.

* * *

He opened the double doors to his office quickly, examining the replenished stack of papers at the corner of his desk. The gourd fell from his shoulder as he made his way to the large leather chair behind his desk. With a swift kick, it made a controlled slide to the little niche by his large bookshelf.

Time to get to work. As he sat down, he stared at the generous pile of papers and the generous pile of scrolls in front of him. The clock on the wall gave him roughly… fifteen minutes until the first shinobi cell came through for the day's missions. That was enough time to get through at least one paper.

The first one on the stack was strictly financial… but the words were interspersed with patronizing little remarks here, a question to his intelligence there… and he found the proposal just a bit… off. He would need to review that one with the budget in hand.

Unfortunately, his fifteen minutes seemed to have devoured themselves much more rapidly than he had anticipated, as the first team came crashing through his doors.

Without a word, he handed the scroll to their leader, his former teacher Baki sensei. The team was clearly newly formed, a group of green behind the ear genin. He watched them go with disinterest. He began shuffling through one of the larger drawers at the bottom of his desk. The budget was right near the front, being such an important document.

When he had finally pulled it out, he found that another group had entered silently and stood waiting respectfully for their assignment. This was the kind of team he admired. It consisted of a tall, lanky boy with black hair and narrow green eyes. Flanking either side of him were two twin girls, one with stumpy brown pigtails, and the other with an unkempt cloud of brown shoulder length hair.

He paused in his search for a scroll. If he recalled correctly, they were skilled enough for an intermediate mission. He glanced back up noticing quite suddenly that there were only three of them. He knew he had assigned four to a cell, granted he had to put a few of the more promising, but uncertified ninja at the head of teams. They would move up in rank come the next Chuunin exams, so there was little point in worrying over it. However, teams were expected to stick together for missions.

"You're missing your fourth member." Said Gaara, slowly.

"Yes… she wasn't feeling very well." The only boy responded. Yes… he remembered him. He was the leader of this cell, one of the few non jounin in charge of a team. As long as the leader was with them, he saw no issue in assigning them the mission.

Then again… this wasn't the first time they had come in missing a member. He was still debating the issue when his doors were flung open again.

It was that girl from last night, much more disheveled than the previous evening.

"I'm here." Her pale face was flushed and her hair was flung about her in a chaotic blizzard. "Do we have a new meeting place or something, Enma? I waited for more than twenty minutes!" Gaara turned a hard look on Enma

"Not feeling well?" The leader turned a poisonous look on his teammate.

"Last I checked." He hissed.

* * *

End of Chapter 2. Hope you enjoyed it, please read and review. Feedback is always appreciated!

Vocabulary

Ume-Boshi: A pickled plum used in onigiri.

Nori: Sheet of dried salted seaweed.

Onigiri: A rice ball, usually filled with an ume-boshi and wrapped in seaweed. Sometimes full of fish, pork, or chicken.

Bento: a Japanese lunch box


	3. I Want

Chapter 3 is ready, I do believe. I do not own Naruto. I own my OC's Enma, Jigoku, Izanami, and of course, Lotus! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

It was a fairly uncomfortable moment, filled with thinly masked tensions. Almost every reaction in the room was tangible; You could hear Lotus' self-esteem shattering, you could feel the thinly veiled rage radiating from Enma's pale face like desert heat, and you could smell the fear of the two girls in the back as they twittered to each other in nervous anticipation.

"You ask him, Jigoku." began the rougher looking one, purple eyes rolling nervously between the door and her sister. She clearly wanted to leave, badly.

"No, no. You're the brave one, Izanami." responded Jigoku, twirling a stumpy pigtail between gloved fingers and chewing on her lower lip. The pinkish tips of her fingers poked through the holes cut purposefully into the fabric. "You should do it." They fell back to whispering amongst themselves, not quietly, mind you, but whispering nonetheless.

Gaara's fingers remained closed around the fat scroll. It was cool and hard where the waxy green sleeve clung to the yellow parchment. He ran his thumb along the edge, feeling it bend slightly as he pressed it gently into the paper tube. He had no desire to mediate this issue and, to be perfectly honest; if the mission got done he didn't really care how they managed their cell. It was his job to guide the village and the intricate workings of its internal functions, not individuals.

Lotus kept glancing at him hopefully as if he was going to help her, stick up for her, maybe change his mind about teaching her a thing or two. Unfortunately, he would not be fighting this battle.

"Just go." he set the scroll on the end of his desk. His head was beginning to hurt again, and Shukaku was advocating for him to crack someone's rib cage open. He seemed most interested in Lotus, which made no sense whatsoever. It would be too easy. Too easy, but…

He was sorely tempted.

Enma nodded curtly and snatched the scroll from the desk.

"Come on." he commanded, briskly, moving past Lotus without so much as a glance and half pushing Izanami and Jigoku out of the room. They offered no protest, seeming all too happy to dart through the doors and escape. Lotus on the other hand stood stock still her eyes locked on the decorative plant nestled by one of the three round windows.

While he found this annoying in its own right, Gaara figured she would leave eventually and turned his attention back to the budget. He was just about to make some progress when she spoke up.

"See what I mean?" He didn't bother to look at her. Not his problem. "Do you even care?" there was a thin sharp edge to the question. Gaara focused on breathing and ignored the smell of blood that had begun to build up in the air. There was a very thin line between control and debauchery for him. He was slipping into the gray area, where he was still separate from Shukaku, but some of Shukaku's senses and... Urges were beginning to present themselves.

The Ichibi rustled anxiously, sensing an opening in Gaara's irritation. It unfurled its claws and batted lazily at a twisting chain around its right paw.

_She's so little... I'll bet you would hear every bone break..._

Gaara shook his head slightly and pressed his palm into the desk. His pulse was beginning to rise, and he grit his teeth against the slight points forming on his canines. God, if the little bitch didn't get out of his fucking office she was going to be hauled out on a stretcher.

"Lotus. Get out here." She cast another disappointed look at Gaara and turned to leave, her too long hair swishing behind her back as she left at the request of her leader.

With a sigh, Gaara's head hung from his neck. "Thank God..." The burning subsided and the demon gave a strange little huff.

_It would be fun..._

* * *

Hours later, after her teammates had managed to "subtly" dump her off at the gates, Lotus went to her private training ground. A large withered tree hunched near the sandy wall, surrounded by small flat stones. She undid the high collar of her blue shirt and flung the garment to the ground, leaving the mesh undershirt hanging strangely from her bony frame. Then she rolled up her pant legs and tied her long hair back.

The sunset cast a pale orange glow over her surroundings and set her at ease. It sapped the negative feelings from her, leaving her feeling determined and, dare she say it, optimistic about the impending training session. Lotus bowed her head for a moment, focusing her chakra into the pit of her stomach. It churned, leaving a burning cold licking at her insides. "I can do this." she murmured, lifting her eyelids just slightly. "I can do this." She smiled.

Time to get to work. Lotus reached into her thigh pouch and withdrew a wicked kunai, clenching it tightly in her pale hand. She spun to the left and tried to fling it directly into the X she had scratched into the bark a day or two prior. It missed by an inch, but the gash left behind by the sharp edges was deeper than the last time. Finally, some payoff. A smile quirked her mouth and she felt a little rush of elation, spiking from her toes to her fingers and out the top of her head.

Maybe today...

She raced forward, imagining enemies standing on defensive in front of her. If this were a shinobi, the best target would be right... There! Her fist cracked sharply against the bark, and the wood gave way just a bit. A chip flew into her eye and she raised her stinging hand to cover it.

"God... dammit." she grit her teeth and blinked back a drop of moisture, pale lashes fluttering. The throb in her hand seemed to push a thin trickle of blood down the back of her hand. Why had she thought that would be a good idea?

Lotus waved her hand in an attempt to alleviate the sting and examined the tree intently. There was a very slight dent where her fist had made contact. That wasn't impressive at all and it was highly disappointing. She dropped to the ground and began a series of shaky pushups. One... Two... Three... Four...

"That isn't good form." She jumped, her hands flailing slightly when they left the powdery ground beneath her. She landed heavily, a cloud of sand dusting her face and a few rogue specks found their way into her mouth.

* * *

Gaara wasn't entirely sure why he was watching her. There were at least a dozen other things he'd rather be doing with his early release. He had been walking home, debating when the best time to train would be, as it had been a day or two longer than he would have liked, when he saw Lotus' team part at the gates. They had left her standing there, one hand lifted in a half hearted "Goodbye".

Then, rather suddenly, she had darted off down a narrow alley. He couldn't help but wonder what the little nuisance was up to. So, against his better judgment, he had followed her to a small open space beside the city wall. It was crowded by the buildings around it, and the only defining feature was a small, crooked tree withering in a small circle of flat stones.

The young kunoichi had clasped her hands in front of her, appearing to gather her chakras. He watched her mumble to herself, then she began to... train. She flung a kunai at a tree and missed entirely, but she seemed elated. Then she _punched _said tree and seemed almost surprised that it hurt. No wonder she wasn't wanted on her cell.

If she'd been on his cell, he'd have killed her. After a moment of shaking her hand and staring at the tree as if it held some vastly important secret, she dropped to the ground and started in on a series of absolutely pathetic pushups. This was too much. Now he saw why she'd asked for help.

"That isn't good form."

* * *

Lotus stared at him wide eyed, attempting to pick the grainy dirt out of her mouth discreetly. "Um... what? The... the pushups?" She watched as Gaara dropped his gourd and walked slowly over to her, his robes swirling around him. He pulled them off, a pair of loose black pants and a tight black shirt hidden underneath the sea of cloth. He hung tossed them back over by his gourd and crouched to her level.

"Move your arms." he motioned for her to move them apart. She frowned in concentration, pushing her stick thin arms apart and attempting to keep her balance. "Now... straighten your back a little." She did this, looking to him for approval.

He nodded. "Try again." She began to bend her arms, the elbows shaking a little but keeping herself up. She lowered herself slowly... slowly... slowly, until finally her arms had formed a ninety degree angle. She paused, eyes squished shut as she attempted to push herself back up. She made it up maybe an inch, and that was generous, before she collapsed to the ground, coughing a little.

She blushed, staring up at Gaara through her white bangs. "Um... sorry." He gave no sign of understanding or interest. He was thinking. Here she was, abandoned by her team and without any physical strength. What was she trying to do? There was no hope for her, really... but she was still trying.

She wanted to change.

"How badly do you want to improve?" he asked, looking at her passively.

"More than anything!" she scrambled to her knees, staring at him and clutching her knees. Up close, he saw how very skinny she truly was. She was tiny, and she looked fragile. There were sickly shadows under her eyes and her thin hair hung limply from her skull. She had a long mouth that seemed to take up more room on her thin face than it should have.

"Why?" She paused, her slash of a mouth opening for a moment as she bit into her lip. What did she want? Was it to help others or to prove that she could? What made change so important?

"Because..." words failed her. There were so many reasons that she wanted to get stronger: She wanted to prove Enma wrong. She wanted to join in when Izanami and Jigoku trained together, attempting to one up each other with their new jutsus and maneuvers. She wanted... She wanted...

But why?

* * *

That's that for now. I'm hoping you guys like what I have. If Gaara is OOC, please let me now. Hit me with a Molotov cocktail, or something. I'll get the message. Please Read and review and thank you for taking the time to read it if you've gotten this far.


	4. Hopeless

**Hopeless**

* * *

Gaara leaned forward only slightly. Some part of him, the small shriveled human part of him identified with her and wanted to help her. He wanted to prove to himself that he could be wanted, useful, something other than a monster.

"Because why?" She seemed to start slightly, her eyes widening a bit more.

"I don't know." There was a strange moment where he wondered if he'd heard her correctly. Then, the breath he'd been holding seemed to turn to frost. It almost ached. He had misjudged her, apparently. She had no real dedication. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

As strange as it was, he felt betrayed. Betrayed by a complete stranger.

He stood up and grabbed his things, beginning to leave without a word. Not even a glance. He found himself hating her, hating her, hating her and he couldn't quite figure why. He didn't even know her name.

"Where are you going?" she stood up and started to follow him. He ignored her, as speaking to her felt dangerous. "Did I do something wrong?" He turned around very briefly, and fixed her with a lingering icy look. He watched with satisfaction the tremor that passed through her slight frame.

"What?" He shook his head and continued walking.

_Put her out of her misery. Come on, who are you helping by leaving her alive?_

Lotus followed him, struggling to keep up with his brisk pace. "I thought you... what did I do?"

He stopped walking and grabbed her by the wrist. "You lack conviction." he spat the words. His insides smoldered with anger at her ignorance. The anger seemed to tighten into a thick, sharply kinked coil seeming ready to combust.

"Lack of...?" Her eyes lit up in anger. "Lotus Koorine does not lack conviction." Lotus struggled to pull her hand from his grip. The entirety of her body weight did nothing to loosen the vice like hold of his hand. Eventually, he humored her and loosened the noose of his fingers just enough for her to snap her wrist out of his fist. Stumbling slightly at her sudden release, she marched right in front of him and planted her spidery hands on her hips and glared at him.

He crossed his arms and leaned forward slightly, his eyes narrowed. The intense disappointment and contempt challenged her. "Prove it." they hissed. She blanched in the face of his rage, her façade falling briefly. He could have laughed if he didn't find the situation so irritating. She seemed to sense his disdain, as she quickly replaced her mask of bravado.

"How?" He turned on his heel and marched back the way they had come: Down the narrow alley way and into the small lopsided clearing with the dead tree in the middle. He uncorked his gourd and waited for her to come to him.

She entered the clearing, that cold fire still burning in her eyes. They stood stock still, both staring at each other in heavy silence. The sun was beginning to dip behind the crumbling peaks in the not so far distance.

The dying orange light cast a fiery glint through Gaara's unruly hair and lit him from behind, leaving his face in shadow. It was a bit creepy, especially with the full moon peeking down from the divided sky, becoming clearer and clearer as the sun drew its last rays down behind the horizon.

The stillness was shattered when a huge wave of sand came cascading over the thick cracked lip of his gourd. It slithered eerily across the ground towards Lotus' feet. Her eyes widened and she leapt to the side, beginning to realize what he might have in mind.

"You want to fight me?!" He said nothing, a tentacle of sand whipping out and knocking her left leg out from under her. She attempted to counterbalance, leaning dangerously to the right to keep herself up.

"I told you to work on your balance." he quipped, watching her with thinly veiled disdain. He sent another sharp crack from the long strand of sand and watched as she narrowly leapt over it. She was coming to grips with the challenge she had unwittingly agreed to.

She was going to have to fight the Kazekage. Oh, God, he was going to destroy her. She searched for a safe place to plan a counterattack. Behind the tree.

She darted to the side, staggering slightly as Gaara raised a ledge out of the sand at her feet. She hopped around like an idiot for a minute before straightening herself out and sliding behind the tree. Her heart pounded quickly in her chest, her chest constricted and she struggled to breathe for a minute.

She clasped her hands together and took a few calming breaths as she tried to think.

* * *

Gaara watched her vanish behind the scraggly tree and wondered if she expected to wear him down. He had more than enough chakra to wear _her _down twenty times over. Was she trying to find a quiet place to think?

That's not how it works on a mission. He walked slowly, silently, almost menacingly over to the tree. Then, he jerked his elbow violently to the side and watched as the sand smashed into the tree, splintering bark and wood flying around him. It fell to the side, landing weakly in the dust with a sad little _fwump._

Lotus heard the tree fall and leapt forward, turning around to see what he had done. He stared coldly at her over the stump he had created. She made a handsign, shutting her eyes tightly and blasting a weak, but cold stream of water at him from her mouth. The sand arched over itself in a parody of a wave and waited for it to die down. Then, when Gaara saw her lean back, panting and wiping water from her chin, he sent the sand straight forward and slammed into her.

She disappeared in an effervescent cloud, and he realized that the little moron had managed a kage bunshin. Then he felt the sand rush up his back and stay there. He turned and stared at the real Lotus, poised behind him with her fist jammed into a wall of sand.

Blood trickled out of her previous wound. It had been exacerbated by the harsh grains of sand. Gaara cringed, feeling Shukaku's anxiety spike. A huge wave of pain crashed through his skull. It felt as if his brain was being dislodged and thrown around a whirlpool. Shukaku wasn't going to reason with him tonight.

His teeth were beginning to form sharp points, he felt his face crackling on one side, his eyes burned as he began to lose control over his vision... Suddenly a sharp blow to his shoulder snapped him out of the haze of pain. He stared at his challenger, who had apparently struck him in the shoulder.

Shukaku dropped his intense struggle to get out and seemed to consider her, chuckling to himself.

_Plucky little bitch, aren't you?_

Gaara's hand twitched. Shukaku was bypassing charm and persuasion in favor of brute force. His eye fell on the full moon overhead and he cursed himself for not paying more attention, for letting his emotions get the better of him. The demon rocked in its cage.

_Stop resisting, it's pointless. _

"So... do I win?" she asked, backing away and questioning the sanity of that move. He turned and began to walk towards her, the sand from his gourd billowing out behind him. He towered over her, and she could see the spider web of cracks near his lower jaw. She saw the wicked spikes of his canines as he gritted his teeth and glared at her with eyes that seemed almost yellow in the middle.

She stood transfixed.

_Hm, why doesn't she run? Too scared?_

Gaara squinted one eye, attempting to blink away the headache now. The smell of blood was so intense, Gaara wondered if he was really still in control of himself any more. He lifted one arm to the side, fingers curled as if he were reaching to crush something dangling beside him.

She cringed and waited, expecting him to kill her.

That's what you got for trusting a-

_**Slam! **_The cork from his gourd ricocheted into his hand and rested between his clawed fingers. It had struck hard enough to flake some of the hardened sand shell from his palm. It drifted down in a lazy cloud. He seemed to be himself again, maybe a little dazed from... whatever the hell had just happened.

"Are you... okay?" she asked, staring at him warily. There was something just under the fear, perhaps concern? Gaara shook his head and turned to leave.

"Is that it?!" she called. "You make me fight you, scare me half to death and walk off?!" He ignored her, and walked a little faster. Anger spiked through her veins, followed by despair.

"Come back! Please?" He pushed off with his legs and seemed to teleport to the roof of a tall building. With another brief pause, he was gone.

The pain seeped back into her hand and she realized, for the first time since her encounter with the tree that it was injured.

Dropping to the ground she held it to her and sighed, staring despondently at the small red drops that collected on the sand. The parched earth drank them, leaving behind strange rust colored dots.

It was hopeless. Truly hopeless.

Gaara leapt from the roof of his house to the front door and opened the door. Everyone was asleep or still missing. Fine by him. He moved briskly into his room and dropped his things, leaning against the wall.

He couldn't even keep himself under control. After all this time, after all that work, he was still hopeless. Completely hopeless. He had almost killed that girl and all she had wanted was his help.

He stayed that way for who knew how long, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to repossess Shukaku. Shove it into its cage and slam the door in its face. It finally relented, walking back into its cage with an unmistakable swagger. It hunkered down and smirked at Gaara from his mind's eye.

_It's too easy._

Gaara slid to the floor, pressing his palm to his forehead.

Hopeless.

* * *

Okay, that's that for that. Sorry for the long wait. I've been out-of-town almost from when I got out of school to now. I hope you enjoy this chapter, because I had a mess of trouble writing it. Reviews and criticisms are welcome. Don't hesitate to point stuff out to me.

There is one person who continues to ask how old Gaara and Lotus are. Just for you, they are 16. This is a few years after Part I of Naruto ended, but not quite in the brunt of the story of Part II. Sorry to take so long to answer your question, hope it helps.


	5. Resigned to Resignation

I, Jasmine Skye, do not own Naruto. I own four OC's, three of which make an appearance in this super amazing installment of whatever the hell I'm writing! **_Aw, yiss, it is good to be back!_**

* * *

Resigned to Resignation

* * *

Kankuro came upstairs the next morning to find his brother sitting at the kitchen table. He looked... empty. His pale green eyes were fixed on a piece of paper lying lifeless in front of him. It looked as dead as his little brother.

"Hey, Gaara." he said cautiously, wondering if Gaara had slid into one of his funks. "Are you... okay?" Gaara shrugged, but he wouldn't look at him. He lifted his arm and slowly carved black kanjis into the cream colored surface.

The lack of response had Kankuro worried. Gaara had in recent days begun to open up and express his frustrations and sorrows. He had told Kankuro once that it left him feeling lighter and a little bit more human. So this sudden regression to silence gave him a very profound sense of dread and pity. It must be bad.

He walked slowly over to the table, watching Gaara's features the way one might watch a person's fingers when there was a rubber band pulled taught between them. The last thing you want is for it to snap and you not be prepared.

He noticed the crumpled balls of paper littering the ground at Gaara's feet and very discreetly hooked one with his foot. He slid it over with him to the other side of the counter, feigning an interest in breakfast. Once there, he bent down and picked up the misshapen ball.

He noted the way that Gaara's head turned just slightly. No doubt he'd heard the crinkling of the paper being handled. However, he ignored his brother and continued writing. Kankuro pulled down a mug and began to pour himself a cup of coffee, finding unfolding the paper with one hand to be mildly challenging. However, he managed somehow and began to read the very official looking document as he lifted the cup to his mouth.

He promptly slopped the scalding liquid down his front. This was Gaara's letter of resignation. Gaara... resigning. He wanted to just give up on his dream?

"You're going to resign?!" Gaara maintained his silence, his shoulder drooping a little as if he were tired and exhausted and maybe a little humiliated by his weakness. "Gaara." He fell a little more, slumping under the intense gaze of his brother.

"Look at me." Gaara's head finally dropped to the table, his face hidden in his arms. This was... unlike him. It was almost childish and Gaara had always acted at least several decades older than he needed to. Kankuro walked quickly to his brother, nearly slipping on the coffee on the floor in his haste to get there.

"Hey," he nudged Gaara's elbow, sitting down beside him. "What are you thinking?" Gaara lifted his head a little, peeking at Kankuro over his sleeve.

"I just can't do it." Kankuro wrinkled his nose slightly. His brother was capable of so much. Of course he could do it.

"What? What do you mean you can't do it?" Gaara shrugged and sat up, looking tired and sad. "You can do anything!" Gaara shook his head and avoided his brother's gaze.

"No... I can't control it." Kankuro froze, paling a bit. He didn't want to believe it. His brother had worked so, so hard. He couldn't possibly have lost control so soon. It was unthinkable... right?

"Did you kill someone?" Gaara shook his head. He pulled his arms in to his sides.

"Almost." his lips barely moved and his eyes seemed distant and far away.

"But you didn't." Kankuro sat back in his chair, watching his brother. "You can obviously control it well enough." Gaara shrugged. Kankuro scowled.

"C'mon, c'mon. You can't give up." Kankuro slapped his hand lightly on the table. "Look at all the progress you've made in just a few months!" Gaara turned suddenly, glaring at his brother.

"It doesn't matter. Being around all these people is pushing it. It's not safe." His face softened. "It's selfish. I was an idiot for thinking that I could do this."

That was enough. Kankuro grabbed the sheet of paper from in front of Gaara and ripped it in half. Gaara's eyes narrowed slightly, and he crossed his arms. "That won't change my mind. I'll just write another."

"Then I'll rip those up too." Gaara sighed quietly and turned his head again. He ran a hand through his hair. "Gaara, I _know _you can do this." No response.

Okay, time to resort to a more drastic tactic. He got up and pulled the smallest knife from the block. Then he sat down next to Gaara. He lifted the knife and gave his finger a deep nick.

Gaara's shoulders tensed and he turned eyes wide. Kankuro held up his finger, watching how Gaara's eyes followed the blood.

_Hm, your brother seems to have forgotten how scared he was of you. How charming._

Gaara's nose filled with the scent of iron and he wrinkled his nose slightly. God, not again. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the headache that was already beginning to streak up the back of his head.

"Kankuro..."

"No, no. Look. It's been five minutes already and I'm not dead." Gaara opened his eyes and glared at him. It wasn't about that. Did he not understand how hard it was to control Shukaku?

Did he understand how bad it fucking hurt?

His brother watched him for another minute or so before he stuck his finger in his mouth. The scent vanished, and Gaara was left with a heaviness in his neck. The headache was subsiding much more quickly than it had yesterday. Maybe the moon had had something to do with it?

"Look at me, still alive and shit." said Kankuro, winking at his brother. Gaara sighed, but a very, very slight smile appeared on his face.

"Now, get to your office. You've got a village to run."

* * *

Lotus trudged down the street, clutching the tightly rolled scroll in her hand. This was it for her; the end of her "Illustrious" career and the beginning of her days as a lack luster civilian.

"Hey, Lotus!" She heard her friends calling her name. She made no move to signify that she'd heard them. She just kept walking in the direction of the Kazekage's office.

* * *

Jigoku watched her sister's face darken. Oh, how Izanami hated to be ignored. "Oh, no. She did not just give _us _the cold shoulder." Jigoku felt her arm jerk to the side as her sister grabbed her and began to drag her off in the direction Lotus had disappeared.

"Oh, Izanami..." sighed Jigoku, following subserviently behind her."Maybe she didn't hear you?"

"Are you saying that I don't project?" Jigoku frowned. Only her sister could take offense at being told someone didn't hear her. God forbid. Jesus, her sister was a drama queen.

"Yeah. That's it." Izanami's eyes widened with indignation before she gave another sharp tug to her sister's arm.

"Come on, we're on a reconnaissance mission." Jigoku resigned herself to her fate, trailing behind her sister like the obedient little phantasm she was.

* * *

Gaara was halfway down the hall of his office when he noticed the footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Lotus trailing behind him, head down and her flat white bangs hanging sadly in her face. He stopped and waited for her, preparing himself for Shukaku's onslaught.

It never came, but the girl made her way to him. "Would it be alright," she looked up dully, her blue eyes almost dead. "If I came into your office for just a few minutes?" He nodded, and turned his back on her.

* * *

"Okay, she just went into the Kazekage's office. What now, Izanami?" Izanami nibbled her pinkie, gears visibly turning in her head.

"We wait outside the door." Jigoku turned and stared at her.

"Are you stupid?" Izanami pouted her lips quite childishly. "You honestly think that the thriving colony that is the Kazekage's office is going to let a couple of low ranking ninja hover outside the door of the highest ranked shinobi in the village for an indiscriminant amount of time?" Izanami thought about if for a minute, seeming to seriously consider her sister's words.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do."

* * *

Gaara read the scroll slowly, the smooth patch of skin above his eyes furrowed slightly as he took in what she was saying.

She was relinquishing her title of shinobi because of… numerous health complications and an inability to learn.

At least she was honest. He set down the scroll and looked at her again. This was clearly a hard decision for her and she was not handling it well. It looked like she'd had a nice long cry about this and all of the life and nervous excitement that she had seemed to carry around with her was gone now. She was just a small, withered shell.

"What brought this about?" he asked, softly. She shrugged. He leaned forward slightly, one hand pressing the paper into his smooth polished desk surface and the other cupping his chin. "You seemed so determined." She glared at him, the first sign of life he'd seen in her eyes since last night.

As soon as the anger appeared it dissipated. She slumped a little lower, her arms seeming to be pulling her into the floor of his office. The sight was sad, even to him. He did not have pity for people who did nothing to change their circumstance.

He felt no sorrow for the weak who chose to remain weak, and he knew the pain of wanting to change with no one to offer you that. Even though this decision could prove disastrous, he finally gave in.

"Resignation rejected." He said, slowly picking up the paper and ripping it in half. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open a bit.

"What?" He watched her face with some amusement.

"Your duties on your cell have now been overridden, I will tell your teammates personally. Meet me outside my office at six o'clock tonight for your first training session." He straightened his back and shuffled a few papers on his desk.

Lotus blinked once, twice, three times before what he had just said sunk in. "Really?" he rolled his eyes but smiled very slightly in spite of himself.

"Thank you so much, Kazekage-sama." She bowed low, her long hair flailing with her as she showed her appreciation. "I promise that I will work hard." She smiled, as if she were trying to show him all of her teeth.

Gaara's eyes widened slightly. She smiled like his sister. There was something very endearing about that. He found her just a bit prettier for the borrowed trait… not that it mattered.

She bowed again, nearly slamming her forehead into his desk before she turned and began to half run out of his office.

* * *

Izanami found her face quite suddenly full of door. There she'd been, minding "her own business" and listening to what her dear little friend was up to in the Kazekage's office while her sister stood watch at the end of the hallway, when the door suddenly opened and _SMACK! _She had a stinging nose and a fairly shattered ego.

Lotus stared down at her in shock, taking in the visage with wide blue eyes.

"Izanami? Are you okay?" Izanami shook her head and leapt to her feet, face split into a large hammy grin as she tried to shrug off her embarrassment.

"Of course, dear!" She slung an arm around Lotus' shoulders and began to steer her towards Jigoku who was struggling with the impulse to laugh. "I was just… uh… looking for you. I felt just awful about what happened last night."

Lotus stared at her, one eyebrow quirked in slight amusement. "Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. After all, you are my best friend. I am so, so sorry that we abandoned you! Forgive me!" she fell into melodramatic sobs, burying her face in to Lotus' neck. Jigoku's good mood had evaporated as soon as her sister began to make a scene.

Her face turned red and she held a hand up, up, up beside her eyes. "Izanami." She hissed. "Let's go."

Lotus smiled at her friend and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm sorry about your face." Izanami blushed a bit at that remark and Jigoku giggled a little, even in her embarrassment. "And tell Enma not to wait up for me later. I have some training to do." She grinned again and walked away, an upbeat tune vibrating in her throat.

Jigoku turned a knowing smirk at Izanami. "What have we learned today?"

"Doors are evil. Now, shut up and let's go find Enma. He'll kill us if we're late for training."

* * *

That's that for that. I liked writing this. It was fun and I almost never write funny pieces. I hope you enjoyed it. Please read and review!


	6. Something New

**Something New**

* * *

Enma sat atop the cracked beige wall as he did every morning before training. His routine was like clockwork; Up at 4:00, out of the house by 4:30, warm up exercises by 5:00, and a good two and a half hours of training after that.

There was only one segment of his rigid morning schedule that never quite lined up or fell into place no matter how hard he tried, or pleaded, or cursed, or threatened.

Izanami and Jigoku Nomikoto two of his best friends, and the worst students anybody could ask for. Their arrival ranged anywhere from on time to a full hour and a half late. It drove him crazy and generally ruined his mornings.

But not today. Today was going to be a great day, dammit! He was certain of it. So, as he sat there still waiting, he decided that today, he was going to do something different. Instead of waiting in the same spot for the next forty five minutes, he was going to walk around the corner, to the drink machine and by himself some tea.

Simple. Envisioning in his mind a nice, cool plastic bottle of green tea, he pushed off with his feet and landed evenly on the sand. The metallic clink of coins in his pocket was reassuring and uplifting. He often found that a desired beverage could change a person's outlook on life.

He began the slow walk over, appreciating the little details of an early morning in Suna. Birds were starkly silhoutted against the blue tinged sky and the air was not quite oppressive but it maintained a firm warmth. The warmth seeped into your clothes, into your skin, and even into your bones. It was nice. He loved his home here.

But life was hard. The ninja in suna had a fearsome reputation to live up to, although they needed to clean up their foreign relations after the little mishap in Konoha. They had to be stark and harsh, just like the desert they inhabited. Of course, that takes time to build in a ninja. It takes time, money, and, above all teachers. Only recently had a school been introduced to the public. That in itself was a monumental undertaking especially for one as young their current Kazekage. Enma had... doubts, about him.

Nontheless, they had been strapped for strong shinobi as of late and that had led to some... interesting cell arrangements. The school would no doubt help to avoid these uncomfortable situations in the foreseeable future.

Enma was only a year and a half older than his three "students". He had grown up with them, played with them on the swings. He had even played dress up once or twice, although he would deny it if ever Izanami got _that look _in her eyes. It made it difficult to lead them, and it made it difficult for them to look up to him.

Sure, he was a talented ninja, but a teacher? Talent alone can't make you a teacher. Teaching was an art all its own, one that Enma had yet to master.

That wasn't the part that bothered him. He had always seen himself in a place of authority. Maybe the army, or perhaps a guard for the Kazekage. Yes, even a cell leader. However, this was a technicality. He hadn't really _earned _this position and it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Which brought him to the drink machine. The red lining framed the multitude of bottled liquids inside. The large, ovular buttons glowed underneath the price and he carefully shelled out 150 yen for his tea.

It was just as he was getting ready to press the button, that he heard... humming. Familiar humming. Lotus must be close by.

"Hi, Enma!" He didn't jump, or lurch, but his internal processes seemed to grind to a halt. Shit, shit, shit. What did he say? He couldn't just out right send her off. If she came with him to training though... everything he'd planned to get done would be impossible to accomplish. What was more important?

Lotus... progress... Lotus... progress...

"What are you doing?" she lifted a white eyebrow, one round eye crinkling in confusion. He snapped back to himself, mildly embarrassed. She giggled which further stung his pride.

Progress it was. "I'm grabbing a drink. Hopefully, Izanami and Jigoku won't be much longer. I'd like to start training on time this morning." he watched her cautiously. Sometimes she took the news lying down and other days she fought back. Which was it today?

"Okay." she smiled, seeming unfazed. "Actually," she began with a faintly smug tint to her smile "It's good that I caught you. I'm starting training with someone else today."

His finger slid from the button and his brow furrowed. Interesting.

"Who is it?" Lotus' smile grew a bit wider.

"The Kazekage." Enma's eyes narrowed.

"You're a little old to be telling such tall tales." He pressed his finger back to the machine, but he didn't look where.

"It's not a lie. He's going to tell you today." She tilted her chin, coquettishly, and winked. "So... No need to wait up for me." her eyes darkened a little and the smile frosted over. _Not that you were going to anyway. _

Enma didn't seem to hear her. This was... bad. Very bad. There had been one reason that Enma had vied to have her on his team to begin with. Not because she was valuable, not because she was strong or an asset to a cell. It was because, although he hated to admit it, he cared for her. And to be honest...

Lotus was sick. She had been since he'd known her when she moved here all those years ago. It was up to him, her best friend to keep her safe. That's why he kept her from these missions. If she was out of his sight for even a moment, he could only imagine what would happen.

And with Gaara? The abomination may have been able to frighten enough people to allow him the position of Kazekage, but Enma wasn't entrusting any one of his comrades to him if he could help it. Lotus had always been indecisive. Could he play off of that?

"Does he know about your asthma?" He had to stop her. The little moron was going to get herself killed.

Lotus lost her smile entirely and seemed to grow a little nervous. "Well..."

"You didn't tell him?" Perfect. If, and he did mean if, she was telling the truth, he at least had some ammunition.

"He didn't exactly give me a chance!" Lotus flushed, and began to twirl a strand of a hair around her finger. Would that change things? She certainly hoped not.

Enma allowed himself to relax. The chill in his stomach vanished. "Listen, just forget it. I know I haven't had much time for you lately." He really had to swallow his pride for this. "But, if you're really serious, Izanami, Jigoku and I can all tutor you." He looked at her sincerely.

"I promise."

His young friend blinked in surprise, and her eyes seemed to darken, darken, darken until she looked ready to kill him. He wondered if she was going to slap him. That would certainly be something new. As soon as her anger came, it pulled back and she fixed her too long mouth with a frigid, stiff smile.

"I'm sorry. I have somewhere to be." she pulled herself up as importantly as she could and marched away. It would have been cute, were Enma not pissed off beyond belief.

He slammed his fist into the machine and shut his eyes for a minute. God, why did he have to care so much. He heard the machine whir and a drink drop down the shoot along with the _plink_ of change. Wait, change?

He had put in the exact money for a tea. He shouldn't be getting any change. He leaned down and pushed open the thick, clear flap and blanched. He had bought a *Qoo. This morning was getting better and better. He snatched it from the machine and grabbed the remaining fifty yen from the coin slot and stalked back to his training ground. No sense wasting it since he'd paid for it.

Once there, he realized with a start, that Izanami and Jigoku had gotten there before him.

"Well, well, lookie here!" crowed Izanami, jumping onto the wall where Enma had been sitting. She looked a lot like Peter Pan shrieking his victory over Captain Hook. He wondered if she would call him a cod-fish. "Daioh Sensei is late!" she laughed and Jigoku cast him a sympathetic look.

He cracked open the bottle in his hand and took a sip of the too sweet drink, nearly gagging at the shock of sugar.

"Is that Qoo?" Izanami broke into a new fit of giggles, nearly falling off the wall in her amusement. Jigoku seemed to think this was funny too, as she covered her face and shook for a minute or two, her stubby pigtails bobbing.

Yes, today was different. It was even shittier than usual.

* * *

Lotus walked, and she worried. She worried and she walked. She tried to focus on all the ninja know how she already knew, but wound up checking her bag for her inhaler at least twelve times. It was there all twelve times, too. Imagine that.

She took deep breaths that turned into sighs and those sighs turned into vocalizations. Singing wasn't going to fix anything, but she found herself doing it anyway. *Akai Tombo came spilling out of her mouth and for the few minutes it took to sing each note and remember each syllable, she felt safe. Everything was okay... until she reached the imaginary double bar line at the end.

She started in on another song, sorely wishing that her repertoire of ninjutsu outweighed her freakish knowledge of musical literature.

Maybe Enma was right? She couldn't do this. She should go call it off. No, she shouldn't. She was going to do this and shove Enma's face in it. That would teach him.

Maybe... she should just hang out outside the Kazekage's office. She had nothing better to do. Besides sing *Kagome, Kagome and watch little kids start playing along, which was fun. But not today. With dread tingling through her body, she headed to the Kazekage's office.

* * *

Gaara examined the paper in front of him intently, trying to drown out that niggling feeling that he had done something drastically wrong this morning. Shukaku had been rather quiet, which, while pleasant was worrying to him. He knew that it was planning something.

Then again, it wasn't always acting up. Sometimes it just fantasized about the "Golden days" when it wasn't trapped in a tea kettle, or being restrained by some scrawny little ginger who had suddenly gained a conscience.

Maybe today was one of those days. He glimpsed the clock and felt his stomach churn a little. It was 5:30 already. In about thirty minutes he had to commit himself to the torture of teaching. God, it was a terrifying prospect. He'd been fine with Matsuri, but of course, Shukaku hadn't seemed half as interested in her as he was in this one.

It didn't really make any sense to him, either. Shukaku usually acted up around strong opponents, other Jinchuriki, and on a very rare occasion, attractive women. It was a little known fact that Shukaku had a lecherous streak. Namely because Gaara had always been repulsed by everything outside the human body.

He was interested in shredding sinew, crumbling bone, tearing flesh and sprays of blood. Not who had the prettiest eyes or which whore could slather the most make up on her face or show the most skin and pretend she was tough. Mind you, Shukaku tended to like those girls and as his protégé didn't fit that description, he was fairly certain that Shukaku didn't view her as a sexual object or as a threat.

Maybe he'd ask it sometime.

The door opened and he saw Lotus' cell enter. He sat up and slid an official document across the table along with the mission scroll.

Enma handed the scroll to Jigoku, casting Izanami a look when she began to protest. Then he scanned the document. His fingers gripped the paper a bit tighter and he set it down.

"No... It would be a waste of time for you to take her on." Gaara leaned forward, looking mildly irritated with being questioned so often lately. Why was it that the adults seemed to respect him more than the youth? It should probably be the other way around, but...

He gave no response. He waited patiently for the objection to be explained.

"She is... not of sound body." said Enma, slowly. Gaara nodded, remembering that being written in her letter of resignation.

"I was aware of that."

"It's fairly disruptive to her ability to perform her duties." said Enma, watching Gaara. "Crippling asthma."

Gaara frowned slightly. That could be a problem. It would need to be discussed later.

"Thank you." he said, curtly. He returned to scanning a finished document, having nothing better to do with himself. He was not continuing this conversation. He had made his decision and he would deal with this new development later and at his own discretion. This was his way of saying, "Get the fuck out of my office before I have you hauled out on a stretcher." Diplomacy. It's a wonderful thing.

Jigoku and Izanami took the hint and rather quickly darted from the office. The girl with red eyes paused at the threshold and smiled nervously at Gaara. "Um, Enma… I mean… Daioh-sensei? I think we should leave…"

Enma made no motion to leave for another minute or so. Finally, having gotten the message he left rather grudgingly, shutting the door a bit harder than necessary on his way out.

* * *

Lotus paced outside the office door, humming Akai Tombo again. Two minutes, fifty seven seconds and counting.

Her mind seemed to swing on a pendulum, and her opinion changed with the direction she was pacing. She walked to the right, and her mind screamed "Go get 'em!". She walked to the left and it half whispered, "Um, nevermind. I'm sorry to bother you."

_Do it, don't, do it, don't, right, left, right, left._

Finally, the door swung open and Lotus narrowly avoided sharing Izanami's fate as the aforementioned girl came rushing out.

"Good luck, baby cakes!" she called, smiling when Lotus crinkled her nose at the pet name. She watched Jigoku hover nervously by the doorframe before skittering off after her sister and giving Lotus a quick, thin smile before disappearing outside.

She peeped around the door and watched Enma stare down Gaara. He had more nerve than some. Lotus had nearly wet herself just talking back to him, let alone her thirty second stare off. Suddenly, he snapped around and stormed out, grabbing the door and shutting it much too hard.

"Good luck." He spat, giving her a hard look through his jade eyes and stomping off after the dynamic duo. Lotus took a deep breath and smoothed her hair.

Smoothed her hair? That was new. Well… No time to think about it. She started to open the door, and then remembered what Gaara had said their first meeting in the office.

She breathed in again, and knocked lightly on the door.

* * *

Gaara looked up, eyes on the clock again. 6:00 on the dot.

Here we go… He stood up and walked over to the door, opening it and coming face to face with Her.

He was close enough to feel the tiny breeze her rapid blinking was causing. She gasped, backed up, and stared at him. Then she backed up some more.

"Sorry! So sorry!" She was turning red at an alarming rate. He allowed his face to remain passive, hoping that the lack of reaction to the situation would calm her down. She smiled, seeming indecisive.

He bobbed his head slightly in the direction they would go, and then he took off, Lotus jogging to keep up with his quick, deliberate strides.

* * *

"Why is Enma so pissed?" whispered Izanami, cupping her mouth and leaning over to her twin.

Enma's neck stiffened when he heard his name mentioned.

"He's worried."

He crinkled his nose. How long until they realized how loud they were talking?

"About what?"

He turned around, waiting for him to notice that he was listening. A vein pulsed in his temple.

"Lotus."

"Will you two shut up and focus for once?!" He watched them both jump and crack their heads into each other. It was almost like watching someone walk into a mirror.

"Sorry…" mumbled Jigoku, rubbing the red spot on her forehead. It matched her artificially colored eyes.

Izanami glowered at him, seeming far from contrite. "Jesus, what was that for?" Enma quirked an eyebrow, his mouth twitching slightly. "You didn't do your job, so Lotus went and found someone who would." Enma felt his blood boiling. "So don't take it out on us. You only have yourself to blame."

Enma looked as if he'd been struck for a moment, before he allowed his attitude of indifference to prevail. "Whatever."

The three of them stood awkwardly at the gates to Suna. The sun was setting and they had just returned from their mission. It had been nothing special, just a short precursor to their weekend which was a full three days without missions. Enma usually spoiled it by scheduling training sessions at the most inconvenient times. And his mood often dominated their schedule.

Needless to say, Izanami's righteous anger had cost them their weekend.

However, Izanami wasn't particularly concerned at the moment. Her eye had fallen upon a choice candidate for the flirtation of a lifetime. "Ji-chan," she began in the most simpering tone she could manage. Jigoku groaned inwardly and glared at her, half listening to Enma and half listening to her sister.

"What?" she hissed it through her teeth.

"Cover for me." Izanami disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a clone as she ran off after her newest target.

Enma stared apathetically at Jigoku. "She's gone, right?" Jigoku sighed and looked at the ground.

"Well…"

"Jigoku."

"Yes, she's gone." Enma gave a grunt of frustration and kicked the clone in the chest, watching it vanish in a cloud of sand.

"Dismissed."

He bound off quickly, leaving behind their training schedules. Jigoku sighed, scooping them off and walking back into the village. "I wonder how Lotus is doing…"

* * *

**Yay! New chapter! Hope you guys like, please read and review yada yada yada. I don't own Naruto, guys. I hope you realize that. By the by, I just felt like experimenting with some Kankuro OC. Don't shoot me. I might not even make it a thing. As of right now, Izanami is a gunnin' for old Kanky-kun so let's see how it pans out. Like the idea? Let me know. Hate the idea? Let me know.**

***Qoo- A child's drink in Japan. It is a very sweet juice that comes in a sturdy plastic bottle that has a cute little blue… thing on the front. Google it, I'm sure you'll find something.**

***Akai Tombo- Traditional Japanese folksong. It's about a red dragonfly which is coincidentally, the title.**

***Kagome, Kagome- A song sung with a game very similar to "Ring Around the Rosy". It is often used in horror movies in the Japanese culture. If you want the translation, I can give it, but it's kinda weird. In the game, children stand in a circle while one child sits in the middle and pretends to be the "Oni" or ogre. The Oni covers their eyes and listens to the kids sing while they circle the oni and when they stop, the oni guesses who's standing behind him. Neat huh?**


	7. Day 1

**I have made the executive decision to use the Japanese names for the jutsus in any and all chapters since the "Engrish" ones make me cringe a little..****.**** Too much cheese for me. I may have to revise Clone in one of my chapters. Rest assured that I will post the English translation at the bottom for you to laugh at.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Day 1**

* * *

They were back in the little clearing with the now demolished tree withering away in the smoldering sand. The sight made Lotus a little nervous as it was a testament to both his strength and his unpredictability. Deep breaths… deep breaths…

Gaara once again set his gourd near the wall and draped his formal robes across the bulbous form that seemed far too big for someone his size to be running around with. He straightened his back, walked a few paces to the right and motioned for her to come to him. All the while, he had maintained his position near the wall.

She did so, quickly, her long hair bobbing behind her in time with her strides. When she reached him, he pressed his left hand to the wall. "Show me your chakra control." She nodded, summoning up the energy and pressing one foot gingerly to the wall. The other followed shortly after, and she repeated the motion in slow deliberate steps until she had reached the top of the wall.

This was a good sign. She could control chakra, perhaps not at a proficient rate, but that could be fixed. Well, it could probably be fixed. "Jump." She seemed to pause at that.

"Obedience is essential. Jump." He repeated, folding his arms and cocking his head to the side. She seemed to consider the action for a bit longer than it should have taken to comply with an order. However, after her relatively brief meditation, she jumped from the wall; her eyes cinched shut as she wondered why she'd actually complied. A rather undignified squeak escaped her as the wind whistled past her and she waited for the harsh feel of sand in her mouth.

She was surprised to feel her feet hit the ground and much sooner than she'd expected. Upon opening her eyes, she realized that Gaara had raised a small platform for her to land on out of the ground. She pried her hands from the side of her face and smiled a bit sheepishly. "That's… what you were…" His expression remained neutral.

"Sorry." She shuffled her feet. She tried to hold eye contact with him for a bit, but the intensity in his eyes was just… disconcerting. It was hard to believe that they could be so pretty and so scary.

"I've seen your physical strength." She cringed at the thought. God… that was embarrassing. "So, show me your ninjutsu."

Okay, she could do this. How many did she know? Maybe… ten. No, nine, because she hadn't quite learned the tenth one just yet. She began with a kage bunshin. That was an advanced technique, right?

Gaara watched her blankly, his face giving no approval or disappointment as she performed her remaining techniques. "*****Suiton: Suiben!" a large tendril of water was manifested and Lotus gave it a weak little flip. It created a damp little rut in the sand with an almost soft crack. "*****Suiton: Mizurappa!" There was that weak attack she had used on him the other night. It was a thin jet of water that blossomed at the end. "*****Suiton: Rekku Suigeki!" Lotus manifested more water but it seemed to crystallize in the heat until it formed a small battalion of dripping… icicles basically. She sent them flying to towards the carcass of the tree.

Two hit the tree and the others slammed silently into the ground where they wilted to nothing but grimy puddles.

Gaara was noticing a change in Lotus as she moved through these jutsus. By the time she'd finished her third, she seemed a bit out of breath. There was a pause in her hand signs and her hands separated for a moment. She looked like she was going to pull something out of her pocket.

She didn't though. Instead she slapped her hands together again. "*Suiton: Mizudeppo." Her voice was a little bit… breathy. She lifted her hand, extending her thumb and index finger. A thin stream of water sprayed forward, diminishing rather quickly.

He watched her struggle for a minute, once again releasing her right hand to hover over her pocket. Her shoulders jerked a bit as she struggled for breath, but, again, she pulled away and began to lock her hands together in the next hand sign. As her fingers locked together, she noted with a small sting of panic that her palms were not making contact. There was a hard, grainy surface filtering in between her fingers and pressing against her palms. She attempted to struggle, to push against the barrier and compress it.

She felt the flat wall form a rough ball between her hands. What on earth? She stared at the swirling orb of sand gyrating in her palm. She stared at Gaara in surprise. "Enough." He began to walk towards her; his blank neutral expression had softened to something… still unreadable but far less intimidating. She dropped her hands to her pocket, fingers gripping her inhaler tightly.

She pulled it out and turned away slightly, allowing her long white hair to cover the side of her face while she jammed the plastic tip in between her lips and depressed the button. She tasted the medicinal vapor as it drifted down her throat and into her regrettably invalid lungs. She felt so stupid. There was an awkward silence, broken only by the soft _chok, chok _of Gaara's feet on the sandy ground.

"I'm sorry." She turned back, gripping the inhaler in a white knuckle fist. She couldn't meet his gaze, not out of fear or intimidation but shame. "I know… a few more. I just couldn't…" Her eyes burned and she stopped talking, choosing not to cry in front of her teacher.

At least, she hoped he was still her teacher. "I admire your tenacity." The words startled her and she blinked rapidly trying to displace the built up tears. Her eyes flicked to his and she watched him.

"But putting yourself in danger doesn't benefit anyone. You won't get stronger that way." He pointed to the loosening fist and watched her round eyes widen. "Know your limits."

She nodded, dumbly. He wasn't… irritated about the asthma? He wasn't going to run his hand through his hair and sigh? That was strange. She had expected him to march off like he had the other night or berate her like Enma. However, there he was, staring at her almost kindly and trying to teach her.

"I'm sorry." Gaara's face gave a very faint flicker of confusion. "For not telling you about my… condition." She said the word almost hatefully. She slipped her fist into her pocket and left the small, blue thing inside.

Gaara shrugged his shoulders a bit, not really interested in any apology. He didn't blame her for not bringing it up and to be fair, he hadn't asked her to specify her preexisting health conditions. He might need to read up on asthma, though. Just to understand what was safe to put her through. He didn't want to kill her, after all.

_Yet._

**No, not ever. **He thought this vehemently; quite irritated that Shukaku was active at last. **Just go****. Please.**

_Well then, since you asked so nicely. _He received a nasty throbbing in his temple for the next few minutes until the demon grew bored and began to amuse itself by batting the bars of the cage.

He ended the dialogue rather pointedly, and pointed to the fallen tree… he supposed it was a log now, since it was long dead and gone. The two walked the ten paces or so over and sat.

"So, physical strength is nothing. You know that." He didn't say it unkindly, but she still felt that lurch of embarrassment. "Chakra control is decent, you need to work on speed." He leaned back a bit, popping a tight spot in his shoulder. "Obedience, you complied, but there was a delay. That cannot happen." He turned his eyes on her and she held his gaze for a few seconds before choosing a spot just beside his head to stare at.

"And your eagerness to learn is encouraging. I think you have a good chance at improvement." He had nice cheekbones, she decided.

"That being said, I need you to be realistic. Your physical strength is probably not going to improve much. You are going to be a long distance fighter if nothing else. We may need to focus on Genjutsu for you." His hair was a really nice color especially against his skin.

"I do have a few questions for you, and then we're going to spar." That snapped her out of her mild daze. "Don't worry. I'm going to apply a sand armor." Seeing the confused look on her face, he reached up and pressed one finger into his cheek until SNAP! A large crack had formed just under his eye. He held out his hand and showed her the small dissolving shard. Then, without even blinking, it drifted back to his face and hardened into place.

She breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn't going to break her in half. With some restored confidence, she prepared to answer his questions.

"I notice that your jutsus are water based."

"My native home was Koorigakure. I moved here when the village was disbanded ten years ago." His eyes widened slightly. What could possibly be cause for a village to disband?

"The village was settled on a glacier. Stupid, right?" She laughed. "It started breaking apart after a century or so and we all had to inhabit other villages." Gaara did vaguely remember a massive displacement of shinobi throughout the 5 great nations. He had been a child then, but there had been some incident with one of the immigrant children. The memory was fuzzy even though he knew he had been directly involved.

That answered that. "What sets off your asthma?" She blushed and her smile dissipated.

"Lots of quick movement and sometimes, like today, my chakra getting too low." That was a problem as agility was a necessity on most missions. Perhaps she could improve her stamina? He was definitely going to need to do some research.

"Finally," all this talking was tiring. How did Temari do it all day? "I would like it if you didn't call me Kazekage-sama, or Gaara-sensei." Lotus looked surprised. "I just… don't like honorifics. My family never used them." **At least, not the ones who cared, **he thought. An image of Yashamaru throbbed behind his eyes.

"I- if you say so." She agreed, still surprised by the request. He was the highest rank in the village and he didn't want the title attached to him?

Gaara stood and Lotus followed quickly, nearly tripping over a crooked limb. She laughed again and Gaara decided that he liked that sound. It was uplifting and… he didn't really know the right word for it. Oh well, there was business to be taken care of.

He crouched for a moment before standing, holding his hands low. The sand twisted and expanded upward, fitting tightly to Lotus' body. She cringed and gave a sharp intake of breath at the constricted feeling as it wrapped around her chest. Gaara paused, an almost concerned look on his face.

**Asthma? **She shook her head, seeming to guess his thought.

"No, no. Just startled. That's all." She gave a nervous little twitter. Then, Lotus shrugged.

Gaara continued, raising the thin shell up to the top of her forehead and the nape of her neck. Her hair would take too much chakra and he was getting tired. He had a bit of a headache at this point.

She waited for him to give her a nod before she walked forward and tried to get used to this feeling of entrapment in her own skin. Huh, not as bad as she would have imagined.

"This is a cool trick!" she clapped her hands together gingerly, delighted when the sand stayed. Gaara almost smiled at her curiosity.

He took the traditional *kumite stance to signal his readiness to begin. Lotus stared at him for a moment before it dawned on her that she should do so too.

So she did, extending her index and middle fingers before bowing and staring up at him through her long hair. Once the ritual was completed, they both leapt backwards. Lotus landed a bit strangely, and she stared at her feet, noticing that Gaara was using the surroundings to his advantage. He was vibrating the sand and trying to throw off her footing. She frowned, looking for spot out of his line of influence.

Her first thought was the tree, but if he could make the sand snap it in half…

The wall was her only shot. She formed a few quick hand signs, and half whispered the jutsu name. "Suiton: Suiben." She cracked the long whip of water at his feet, not aiming to hit him since she knew about his sand armor. However, the sand at his feet seemed to lift up a few inches in a shield around him. She aimed higher and the shield followed, but it didn't seem that Gaara had anything to do with it. That was a new one. Must be some obscure Kekkei Genkai. He was still rocking the ground a bit. She leapt to the side again before she walked back a few steps towards the wall.

He watched her as he would any opponent. If she was planning what he thought she was, he could end it in the next minute or so.

Sure enough, she planted one foot solidly against the wall and murmured another jutsu. She blasted that small tapered stream of water at him before planting the other foot. He sent a long tendril of sand at her, intending to grab her by the wrist and drag her off the wall. However, she aimed the stream of water at the tendril and succeeded in taking another two steps up the vertical surface of the sandstone wall. The sand at the very end seemed to melt off as it grew heavy and useless. No matter, he had plenty to use.

At least she was quick witted. However, what she had failed to think of, there was sand on the other side of that wall.

A tendril snaked up behind her before it knocked her lightly in the back of her head, throwing off her aim and allowing Gaara to pluck her from the wall. He dragged her to him, and she squirmed trying to get away. She blasted an icicle at him, but it stuck out of his shield like a dart in a corkboard, dripping down the sides and dying the sand a darker color.

Then, once she was right beside him, he released her, but crushed his hand shut. "Dead."

She nodded, looking a little disappointed. Then again, she thought to herself, I am fighting the Kazekage. Lasting five minutes was an accomplishment. The sand rushed off of her in a loud shuffling roar and settled in small piles around her.

He extended his hand and she hers. They hooked index their extended fingers, symbolizing the end of the spar before she stood back up and bowed.

"Thank you very much, Gaara sen-" she glanced up at him to see if he'd noticed. His face was passive, but she was fairly certain he had. "Gaara." He nodded in response before turning to retrieve his things.

Lotus was a little sorry to see those long robes cover up his figure and she turned a little pink at the thought that she might have a thing for her teacher. No, not a thing. She just that he was Handsome. If Izanami were here she would have been all. Over. Him. Sand shield or no, Gaara would have had a tough time of it.

* * *

Kankuro stopped for the fourth time on his trip to the market. He was certain that something was off. Either someone was watching him or following him. He turned around and stared hard at his surroundings. Nothing _seemed _off. There was an old man selling fruit, woven baskets lined a few of the booths where craftsmen offered their products to the trickling crowd and one of the many, many *drink machines lined the wall and displayed it's cooling beverages to the world. There weren't many people here today, exactly why Kankuro had chosen to come.

There was the old man, two chuunin with their vests casually swung over their shoulders in an attempt to cool off, and a teenage girl with purple eyes. Purple? Hm, an attention seeking method no doubt, not to mention a waste of chakra.

Funny, she didn't need it. She was fairly pretty. He decided that he had nothing to fear. Unless it was the old man staring him down. The thought gave him anxiety and maybe, just maybe a little wave of nausea. He looked back to his list and scanned. He'd forgotten to pick up some *goya, and he needed to bring home some apples. He had considered skipping the goya, he really hated that stuff. It was bitter as _fuck_ and he almost always refused to eat it unless Temari was there watching him and threatening to shove it down his throat. Oh, well. It was better than getting smacked in the head.

He turned around to visit the old vendor and realized with a little shock that the girl had been staring at him. As soon as he saw her, she looked past him and squinted, pursing her lips a little as if she were studying something behind him. Her act was almost convincing enough to look over his shoulder and check for some strange object, but he _knew _he had seen her eyes watching him.

They were bright purple: How could he miss that? Really, he would be embarrassed if he did miss them staring at him. He walked over to the vendor, for the sole purpose of buying the items on his list, but he couldn't help wondering if he should be scared or flattered.

She _was _cute. He walked over to the old man and examined his display seeing exactly what he needed. He decided to pick the very smallest shriveled green disgrace before selecting several nice looking apples to set in his bag.

"How much?" he asked, and the old man calculated in his head.

"Eight hundred fifty yen." He decided finally, and Kankuro wondered where he'd gotten that figure. There were no signs displaying the price. Maybe he charged based on client.

He could feel the girl glancing at him every now and again from beneath her hair. He decided, since she hadn't pulled a kunai on him or tried to kick him in the teeth that she was interested in him. So, with the utmost confidence, he turned a small smirk on her.

"It's a bit impolite to stare, y'know." She fluttered her eye lashes a bit, feigning ignorance.

"Staring?" She giggled delicately behind her hand, her eyes crinkled in amusement. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean." He rolled his eyes a bit.

"You're laying it on a bit thick." He turned to leave and was quite amused when she followed him down the street.

"What's your name?" he asked, quite pleased that this pretty girl was showing a coy interest in him.

"Nomikoto Izanami." She simpered, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ears. "And yours?"

"Kankuro." He smiled at her, still a little uncertain about this "Izanami". They walked on in comfortable silence and Kankuro was just considering striking up a real conversation when suddenly, the girl turned and smiled, waving at him.

"It was nice talking with you, Kankuro-san." She cast a rather interesting look over her shoulder. "I hope to see you around." And she disappeared down a back alley.

Kankuro tore his eyes away from she had disappeared and couldn't help but wonder if she'd meant for her skirt to flip a bit as she darted away.

* * *

Gaara had given Lotus some homework and she walked back to her house running over it again and again and again.

_Quicker chakra control, find where your asthma sets in, more power in your ninjutsu._

_Quicker chakra control, find where your asthma sets in, more power in your ninjutsu._

_Quicker chakra control, find-_

She jumped when she heard someone land beside her. She felt who it was, his eyes were burning disapproving holes into her head.

"How'd it go?" he asked, trying not to act interested. Lotus decided that for once, she was not going to search for his approval. She remained silent, and continued walking towards her house.

"Excuse me." He didn't have to try very hard to keep up with her, but this new act of insubordination was igniting his temper which had become fairly short as of, oh... this morning.

"I'm talking to you."

"And?" She turned the corner before she felt a sharp tug on her arm. Enma whirled her around and leaned in so close that Lotus could count make out a tiny scar over his eyebrow where she'd accidently hit him in their childhood.

They'd been tossing sand around, trying to understand how the "demon child" they had seen on the playground did it when Lotus had unknowingly tossed a rather small but sharp rock at him in the clump of sand. She still felt bad about it, too.

"Answer my question. Now." His eyes were hard and dark. She tugged at her arm, but found herself stuck.

"It went great. He was very understanding and has set up a great training schedule. I look forward to training with him." She wanted to add a venomous little, "And not you." But that was a little too cruel for her and not quite true. It made her sad how distant her friend had become recently.

Enma loosened his fingers but he didn't let her go. They stood there in silence, and Lotus was about to try and leave again when he spoke.

"I just don't understand you." She frowned.

Really? He didn't understand how she could get restless and pursue a different avenue of training if he wasn't going to.

"I mean, why aren't you scared?" Lotus felt a little flush of indignation. Gaara had been nothing but genuine and understanding and how _dare _he talk about him like that.

"Oh, shut up. It's not like you really know him." Enma frowned.

"Have you seriously forgotten?" Lotus narrowed her eyes to azure slits, and she tried to be angry. But really, now she was just confused. What was he talking about?

"He tried to kill you! _**Twice**_!" Enma threw his hands up in exasperation. "You had _just _moved to the village and you were forced to go out and play with him and he nearly killed you." She remained silent and he gave a little growl of frustration. "Or how about that time by the fountain when you asked him if he'd said something? You don't remember any of that?" Lotus tried to remember.

Enma wasn't one to lie, but… "Aren't you a little old to be making up such tall tales?" she asked and turned rather sharply, feeling her hair slap against his face as she marched off to her house. Checkmate, she was a little proud of her comeback.

Forget him. She had a good thing going and she was going to benefit from this.

* * *

Jigoku looked up from her *sumie writing upon hearing the door slam.

"How was the hunt?" the few hours since their last encounter had given her time to mellow out. She was happy that her sister was home.

"It was pretty great." She laughed, kicking off her shoes and tossing her headband carelessly onto the table. It clanked against the wall, leaving a little dent before sliding down onto the table beside Jigoku's.

"Careful of the wall…" said Jigoku, mildly, finishing her writing with a gentle flip of the brush.

"Did you go with the damsel in distress or the mysterious paramour?" Izanami smiled and flopped onto the couch behind Jigoku and scanned what her sister was writing.

_The wind always plays and the lake reacts,_

_But when gone, the ripples still,_

_And silence leaves an emptiness_

_That only motion can fill_

Izanami pinched her sister's cheeks. "Aw, didja miss me?" Jigoku blushed and pushed her work away from her, and shaking out of her sister's grip. Of course she would assume the poem was about her.

"Whatever."

"If you're really curious, I chose to be mysterious. I'll have him wrapped around my finger soon." She gave a smug little smile as she remembered that satisfied look on his face when he discovered her checking him out so ostentatiously, and the unmistakable blush that had touched his skin when she'd taken a step to hard and flipped the hem of her skirt up just enough to catch his attention.

She had made it too easy, really.

* * *

Gaara returned home at the same time as his brother and noted the strangely content look on his face. He would have asked what was up, but the door was quite suddenly thrown open by his sister.

"Oh, there you are! I was about to go looking for you two." She gave her usual smile, the one that… that… his student had.

Gaara realized for the first time that he didn't really know her name. She'd snapped it at him once, but… he couldn't remember it for the life of him.

"Why?" asked Kankuro, cautiously. She had_ that_ look.

"Because! We need to have a nice family dinner tonight." Gaara smiled at his sister's enthusiasm to bond. The three were so close now. "It's been too long! I haven't seen my boys in weeks!"

"But Temari." Kankuro said, raising one hand slightly as if to protect himself and smiling. "It's 9:30." Temari shot him a look and swatted at his forearm lightly.

"Bastard! Respect your sister!" Kankuro laughed and Gaara smiled, stepping into their warm house and leaving their affairs at the door.

* * *

Gaara sat in his room that night, thinking about his student. He tried to remember her name…

_I know it._

Gaara flinched. He'd almost forgotten about Shukaku entirely, it had been so quiet today. He was skeptical, almost certain that this was one of the demon's little juvenile pranks.

_Koorine Lotus_

Gaara paused. That was a very, _very _straightforward answer. It sounded right… that must be it.

**How do you know? **The thought of the demon knowing something that he didn't was a bit… disconcerting. The two experienced everything together. Was it one of those memories he'd blocked out?

_I'm surprised that you don't remember the one that got away._

Gaara squinted in the darkness as if he could see it.

Got away… There had been an incident, one that he was directly involved in… It was just at the edges of his mind, and he could feel it sitting there.

* * *

**The end (not really)! Huzzah! Okay. Hope you liked it, please, please, please review yada yada yada. Now for your glossary!**

***Suiton: Suiben Translates roughly to Water release: Water whip**

***Suiton: Mizurappa Translates roughly to water release: water trumpet**

***Suiton: Rekku suigeki translates roughly to Water release: Cold Sky Water Attack XD I hope you see why I stuck with the Japanese.**

***Suiton: Mizudeppo translates to Water release: Water gun**

**I tried really hard to find simple, fairly underwhelming jutsus for Lotus to know. It was hard, and I'm not sure how I did, but I tried. Just take comfort in the fact that she's fairly weak at this point so no matter how cool the jutsu, she sucks at it. **

***Kumite: The traditional sparring ritual of Konoha, technically, but I feel like since Gaara has taken the concept of the school from Naruto that he might have borrowed that as well.**

***Drink Machine: You're thinking, Jasmine, I know what that is. Well, you do, but in Japan they have them every few blocks. It is so hot, this is their way of trying to prevent heat stroke. I don't know about the technology in Naruto as it is fairly inconsistent, but I feel like they are advanced enough to have vending machines. And, as this story is Japanese in origin, I feel that Japanese tendencies, like drink machines, should be displayed. Out of respect to the culture and just because I'm a freak and I want to be detailed. DEAL WITH IT.**

***Goya: A Japanese favorite and one of the only foods I really hated while I was there. It is a bitter melon that looks like a lumpy cucumber and tastes like computer duster: Bitter. As. FUCK! Kankuro is not kidding, folks. That stuff is nasty, but I was told that it makes you beautiful. Hm.**

**Sumie: This is a syle of Japanese brush painting used in traditional painting and caligraphy. **


	8. Old Habits

You may have noticed by now that Shukaku is _italicized _and Gaara is **bolded. **If you see _**This, **_**Gaara **and _Shukaku _are thinking in _**unison. **_Got it? Good.

* * *

Chapter 8: Old Habits

* * *

_It was much hotter than usual as the grim child walked slowly into his father's office. The sand swirled around his feet almost playfully, but there was a sinister edge to the way it licked at his heels and scattered towards passersby in the street._

_He walked slowly, allowing each footfall to be heavy and dull. Each step kicked up more sand which joined the mischievous cloud that surrounded him in his travel. It whispered against his toes and ghosted his bare arms causing the child to shiver with anxiety. He needed to be around somebody._

_It had been two whole months since the child had sought out some form of human contact and the first time that he would not be seeking his solace in his Uncle Yashamaru. _

_**The man had been found, what was left of him at least, smeared against the wall and dotting the surrounding sand with stale, boiled blood. The heat had decayed him quickly and no one had dared come here for several days. They had waited until Gaara had left for fear of what he would do to them.**_

_Today, however, in spite of his conviction to avoid people and forever be a monument unto himself , he could not remain alone. He could feel himself falling into madness. The demon roamed his mind freely, dragging claws against fissures in his mind and tearing into his thoughts relentlessly. It wanted blood and it had for days, but Gaara had not given in to it. Why?_

_Because he wanted to be alone and killing someone required him to be near another disgusting human being. Later, he would fill up his monument with *human pillars, but not for now. _

_So he wandered dazedly into his father's office, lightening his footsteps and leaving the sandy smog at the door. __**There was a tall guard at the door, his hitae ate resting low on his sweating brow. He jolted when Gaara arrived and moved to block the door.**_

_**"I wish to see my father." he had stated, simply. No impudence, no apology, but no real feeling either. A minute dragged on with no response from the shinobi. In anger, the boy narrowed his eyes and froze the centers into icy green pebbles. "Now."**_

_**The shinobi seemed to pause before he gave a shallow bow. "Lord Gaara, my apologies, but your father is busy in the affairs of-" he never finished. Sand streaked up his feet and twisted around his legs before snapping the bones out at the knees. The white shone eerily through the black pants. As the man opened his mouth to scream, Gaara wrinkled his nose in distaste and sent a wave of sand dragging up, up, up over the man's throat and into his mouth, down his trachea and into his lungs...**_

_**Silence.**_

* * *

_Gaara opened the dripping door, and stared into the room curiously. The dimly lit room held a mesh draped box. Inside sat his father, the one he had come to see. In front of the box sat a tired looking man with watery blue eyes and white tinted hair and beside him sat __**a gaunt little girl with round blue eyes and long white hair. It was tossed over her shoulder in a haphazard braid. **_

_"Father..." The man shifted and turned in his cocoon. There was no response, but Gaara could feel the calculating stare set upon him. His words failed him though. Now that he was here, __**what did he want? **_

_"Gaara, you know that I am working." The voiced drifted uncaring over to the young boy and he felt the urge to squirm. He suppressed it, maintaining his uncaring demeanor. He didn't care anymore. __**He was alone. **_

_"It's angry." he said finally, his voice almost betraying his feeling at the end. The man sighed, and seemed to pause for a while in thought. Finally, he spoke again._

_"Would you like someone to play with?" Gaara frowned. That was what he wanted, but the way it was phrased made him sound childish. _

_"I suppose." The Kazekage whispered to one of the guards beside him. The man took a slow deliberate step towards the little girl sitting beside her father. He whispered into her ear, and the girl craned her neck as if trying to see Gaara._

_She met his gaze and gave him a happy little wave. He stared back thinking that she should really stop staring at him. The smile fell when she sensed the coldness and resentment in his eyes. _

_"Kazekage sama, please..." began the man, eyes flicking first to the boy then to the small stream of blood just against the wall. His voice shook with fear as he imagined his daughter out there with... him._

_"Koorine-sama, surely you wouldn't want to force your daughter to sit through these boring procedures?" The innocent invitation carried a mildly threatening tone. "Unless of course, you'd like to continue at another time and __place__." he put such an emphasis on place that his meaning was unmistakable._

_The little girl tugged her father's sleeve. "It's okay, daddy." she smiled at him, although her eyes were still scared. "I'd like to play with him." The guard took her hand gently and led her over to Gaara, not wanting to go outside and see the butchered remains of his comrade. _

_He stared her down for a moment, taking in her petite frame. The roundness of youth had evaded her, giving her eyes an almost hollow appearance. _

"_Come." It was a command, not a request and the little girl flinched at the harshness__ in his voice before she trotted out behind him, smiling. The smile was for her father's benefit as her insides were twisting with an almost cold feeling._

_Just past the door, the little girl noticed the sticky red puddle that had seeped under the wall and was now lining the bottoms of her shoes. The blue fabric darkened against the fluid. She brought her eyes back up to search for her playmate, finding him just in front of her. He was close enough to feel her little gasp of surprise. "Oh!" She blinked once, twice, thrice before she managed to replace her smile. _

'_It's for Daddy.' She reminded herself, suppressing a shudder. _

"_Do you want to see something?" the boy asked suddenly. He leaned in closer, his nose inches from her own. There was something unsettling in his eyes and the small smile that threatened to crack his expressionless façade. _

_She nodded slowly, one hand fiddling pointlessly with the limp braid framing her face. He snagged her hand rather roughly, and dragged her maybe two steps down the hallway. She followed in silence, noticing how repulsive the sounds of her now tacky shoes plodding over the stone floor. When he stopped he dropped her hand and knelt beside…_

_The little girl covered her mouth and squeaked. A dead body, a young shinobi was propped unceremoniously against the wall, his mouth bloody and open. __**Clotting, gore filled sand dripped from the orifice and his knees stuck out at such strange angles, the bones skewering the blood soaked cloth.**_

"_I did that." Said __Gaara, softly. There was a touch of pride in his words. He… had__…__? The little boy, no older than her had mutilated this man and she was alone with him and… and…_

_Without warning she began to cry, and Gaara's head snapped up. Why was she crying? The sound irritated him. What did she have to cry about? He wasn't killing her. Yet._

"_Stop." He hissed, eyes narrowing._

"_I I c-can't." she sobbed. "It's scary!" Her long bangs stuck to her cheeks as tears poured down her pale face. "Why would you d-do that?" her voice was getting louder and his face was heating up in rage._

"_I said __**stop!" **__He leapt up and grabbed her by her braid. She flinched backwards, tugging the ribbon loose and sending the girl collapsing backwards. Her hair surrounded her __**in a chaotic blizzard and Gaara felt his insides boil and simmer until he gave an animalistic little noise and dug his fingers into the long limp strands.**_

_**He dragged her outside, blood spotting her clothes and flung her into the sand. "Stop crying!" he snarled. "You don't get to cry!" She covered the back of her hands and lay with her face in the sand.**_

"_**I'm sorry!" she wailed piteously. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" **_

_**No she wasn't. Not yet.**_

_**He walked down beside her and once again grabbed her hair dragging her up to look at him. Sand stuck to her face forming grimy streams and her lip was busted. He was struck by the scent of iron and he realized for the first time how much he liked that smell.**_

"_**What's your name?" he asked, emotionless. She froze, one hand grasping at the one buried in her hair and the other wiping desperately at her eyes. **_

"_**I'm… I'm Lotus."**_

"_**Lotus…" he tested the name. His hand tightened in her hair, and a pained squeak escaped her. "I'm going to kill you." She went limp, eyes wide. Gaara felt a small, sick pang of satisfaction and began to wrap sand up around her ankles. He could just twist them and snap them out of place like he had earlier. The girl made a strange little coughing noise, and gasped. It was satisfying.**_

_**Gaara decided to choke her instead. He yanked her head back and watched her struggle as her pale throat was exposed to the sunlight. She gasped and gasped trying to get some semblance of air. His eyes drank in the blue tinge coming to her lips and the stilling of her struggles…**_

"_**Hey, let her go!" there was a noise to the side and he tore his eyes from the fading creature. A tall boy maybe a year or so older than him was glaring hatefully at him. Gaara made no move to stop, merely dug his fingers into her hair and pulled a little harder. **_

"_**I said let her go you **__**monster**__**!" That word… it froze him and caused him to drop her. Lotus fell to the ground coughing and gasping as air rushed into her lungs. It didn't seem to make a difference though. As she clutched at her throat and made those heartbreaking little gasps. The boy raced over grabbing her and picking up her light frame before disappearing into the office.**_

_**He remained where he had been, digging his fingers into his still healing scars, feeling them throb under his finger. Even as the sand tried to dig its way underneath and spare him the pain. **_

_**Monster… what a terrible word.**_

Gaara sat forward, eyes wide in the darkness. His student was… the girl. The girl was Lotus. His head throbbed in the muggy, oppressed air. He needed to get up and move… as he did, his head gave a splitting ache and he dropped to his knees, one hand pressing into his temple. The demon had more to show.

_There was too much noise. It was loud and hot and full of disgusting people that crowded too close and splashed in the small fountain gracing the crowded square. He remained in the shade, watching them with calculating eyes. He was… anxious. _

_There was the animalistic need to kill. He had embraced it years ago and now he was just contemplating how he could fulfill the urge. In a crowded place, it would cause a scene which meant more noise, __**and movement and frantic people. **_

_Maybe he should wait for his next mission. It would undoubtedly be the next day. He wandered from his hiding place to run one finger along the cool stone edge of the fountain. _

"_What should I do, Mother?" he murmured to himself, one nail scraping the stone. _

"_I'm sorry?" his head snapped sharply to the side. A tall, skinny girl smiled at him from underneath her limp white bangs. _

_Why was she talking to him? __**He didn't want to be talked to… how dare she?**_

_A wave of sand rose up behind her and knocked her forward into the water. She gave a little scream as she fell, twisting to avoid landing face first and dinging her shoulder rather roughly against the bottom. He watched her for a minute or so, as she struggled rather unsuccessfully to disentangle her bony body from the water. __**Her long hair floated around her while she splashed around.**_

_He grew tired of watching her struggle and decided to end this one. Who cared if they saw?_

"_That's strange." The girl laughed, finally managing to climb out and drag her sopping wet form from the stone basin. "I don't know what happened." Gaara's eyes narrowed. She needed to be scared or this would be ultimately unsatisfying. _

_He glared at her while she continued to laugh, eyes flicking nervously around the square. Had she done something wrong? __**Sand coursed up over her legs and dragged her down. Her eyes widened and she seemed to have a brief flicker of recognition for him. **_

"_**I'm… sorry?" she whispered, bringing her arms up over her face to protect herself. The sand crawled up to her chest and began to compress drawing a rush of air form her mouth. She dropped her arms and tried to pull herself from the body cast forming against her small frame. **_

_**He tightened his fist, watching her still and give a little grunt of pain.**_

"_**No. You're not." He quipped. Preparing to finish her, he continued to slowly tighten his fist, hearing a very subtle crack as a rib undoubtedly broke. **_

"_**Lotus!" there was a shout, and a wave of water ca**__**me cascading from the fountain onto the sand which grew heavy and seemed to dissolve from her body. She turned to the side coughing, and stood shakily. **_

"_**Izanami, why did you do that? You're not saving her by making him mad!"**_

"_**Shut the fuck up, Jigoku. We had to do something."**_

_**Two girls, surprisingly identical, flanked her and stared at Gaara accusingly. They knew who he was and what he had been trying to do. Gaara's expressionless face slowly darkened. He determined that killing them all might be the simplest course of action and prepared to summon the chakra to do so. However, a kunai whizzed dangerously past him and landed an inch or so from where the sand had begun to lift at his feet.**_

"_**Leave them alone." The voice had come from behind him but he didn't bother to turn. He was tired and this was becoming a bigger ordeal than he had intended. The crowd had quieted, and divided. The few who remained stared at him from narrow allies, thinking themselves safe in stark shadows of tall sandstone buildings. The need to kill had subsided and now he felt… drained.**_

_**He vanished in a cloud of sand, and watched the three very lucky kunoichi limp away with a tall black haired boy trailing behind him. He caught sight of Gaara standing there, on top of the building and watching. **_

_**His lips moved but Gaara could not hear him. He didn't need to.**_

_**Monster… What a lovely word.**_

* * *

Gaara winced as he came back to himself. He was deeply unsettled and he spent the rest of the night outside in the cool still night. Sitting still brought back memories of the one who got away and the heartbreaking look of terror on her face each time her kindness had been met with intent to kill.

He paced slowly, clearing his mind as best he could. Finally, he decided to go to the library, and then his office. He would just start his day a little early.

Lotus swung her legs off of the tall stool as she and Jigoku sat in at the little table. They had met up for breakfast as it was Saturday and Enma had been merciful enough to schedule their training schedule at 11:00 instead of 4:00 in the morning as he had for the next day.

"So… since you're still alive, I'm assuming the session was good?" Jigoku inquired after a sip of her *miso soup. Lotus picked up a chunk of her rice, watching the *nato string off of her chopsticks.

"Yes. He was very nice." She said this with a little smile, twirling the chopsticks until the thin strands broke. Jigoku examined her face closely, trying to read the soft, almost dreamy smile.

Twitter pated, no doubt. The thought of her friend having a love interest other than… well. She supposed there had been enough time to douse that flame. Lotus seemed to sense her thoughts because she blushed and stuttered for a moment, sending a chunk of nato covered rice onto Jigoku's plate. "Um, where's Izanami? Wasn't she coming?" Jigoku's sentimental mouth puckered as if she had just sucked on a piece of *goya.

"She's hunting." Lotus almost laughed even though Jigoku was obviously upset about her sister's loose and shameless ways. "Some tall drink of water who works in the puppet corps."

Still smiling, she ate the remainder of her food, trying to make herself swallow more than usual. She needed to gain some weight, she'd decided.

Although, maybe she just wanted it to be 6:00 so that she could get to her training.

* * *

Gaara sat back and examined his work. Everything was done… and it was only just noon. This might be more time efficient than waiting until office hours. He filed the necessary papers and placed the others on his desk to be collected at the end of the day. Then he picked up his notes on asthma and scanned the highlighted sections.

He just needed to make sure that they were complete. When he was satisfied that the notes were thorough enough, he stood and decided that he could maybe spend some time out in the square.

Maybe he would start Lotus' lesson early, assuming she was there. He wasn't going to go looking, after all.

* * *

Jigoku checked her watch. She needed to get going really, but where was her sister? Lotus was still picking at her food, looking like she might be sick.

"You don't need to eat all of it." Said Jigoku encouragingly. "You can build up to it." Lotus nodded and decided to clear the table, and Jigoku decided to pay for both of them since she felt bad about Lotus' situation. It made her nervous to know that Lotus, sickly, little Lotus was training with one of the most feared shinobi in the village. She shuddered when she thought of the day that she and Izanami had happened upon her being engulfed in the squirming sands. She still remembered the feel of the stone biting into her fingers as she helped Izanami to dump it over.

And even though she could honestly say that Enma was the reason she was in that situation, she figured that she could have at least _tried _to speak up for her friend.

Lotus returned to her side, looking embarrassed that her friend had paid for her. "Oh, you didn't have to."

"I know." Said Jigoku, although really she felt that she did. "I know."

The two departed the food stand and made their way through the busy streets. Saturdays were always the busiest.

* * *

The two chattered away about this and that, while Lotus accompanied Jigoku, who was unfortunately Izanamiless, to her training grounds.

Lotus didn't mention how curious she was about where the stupid thing was. It was such a well kept secret that the prospect of seeing it had her understandably excited. The only downside was Enma…

Enma, hm. She sighed inwardly when she thought of him. He had always been protective and friendly until he'd been put in charge of a cell. She had assumed that he was letting it get to his head at first, but after a while she realized that it was stress and his normal bouts of perfectionism.

He was worried about them, and maybe a little disappointed in them for not being what he tried to make them. Understandable, really, if you imagine the stress of being in charge of your best friends at the age of seventeen. That was when they had grown apart, and when he'd begun to regard her as some frail little crystalline thing that needed constant supervision.

No matter his intentions, it made her angry.

Once they reached the spot, (it was surprisingly out in the open. Lotus had imagined some secret labyrinth winding under the village) and she had determined that Enma was indeed absent, Lotus left her and turned to leave. However, she felt like she needed to say something.

"Hey, Jigoku?"

The girl looked up from the kunai she was sharpening.

"Yes?"

"Tell Enma…" she paused and flushed. "I said hi. And… good job." She smiled nervously and played with her hair. Jigoku's face softened and she nodded.

"Yeah. He'll be happy to hear that." And Lotus ran off, trying not to feel sad.

* * *

She ran and ran, passing the Kazekage's office, the fountain, the restaurant, the fair grounds and past the gates until she finally found the alleyway to her training place.

And much to her surprise, Gaara was already there, shuffling a thin packet of papers.

"Sen-…" she covered her mouth and watched Gaara's shoulders stiffen slightly. "Gaara?" she walked in, trying not to seem too excited. "What are you doing here." He shrugged, glancing at her and thrusting the papers out.

"Follow these instructions." He said, softly. "For your asthma." She took it and nodded, wondering what regiment he was recommending. The first bullet said to use her inhaler _before _she began any form of strenuous activity. She'd never thought of that.

Trying not to be too obvious, she pulled out the dreaded thing and took a sharp blast of it, cringing a bit at the taste.

"May I see that?" She jumped, not realizing that Gaara had been watching her.

"Um…? Sure but… why?" That sounded to forward. "If you don't mind my asking." She held it out at the very tips of her spindly fingers, watching him gingerly take it hold it up to the light.

"I've never seen an inhaler before." He said, turning it over slowly. L-shaped and blue, it was made of thick plastic. He stared at the cartridge of medicine in the top, running a finger over the smooth top. It was so simple… but so important. He handed it back to her, nodding slightly.

"Would you like to begin training now?" she nodded and slid the inhaler into her pocket. Gaara began the process of raising the sand up around her and, today, she stood very still and gave no sign of nerves or discomfort. Instead, she looked straight ahead with her chin up defiantly and her eyes flicking around the clearing as if trying to work out a strategy for their sparring match.

He took the kumite stance and waited patiently for her to follow. It took her a minute to realize that he was finished, and she walked quickly over, extending her index and middle fingers before bowing and starting to move quickly from place to place. If she didn't stop, he couldn't throw her off balance.

He watched her run around, reminded briefly of someone he'd fought before… She was nowhere near as fast. Lotus watched him watch her while she ran and realized that he wasn't making any move to attack.

Was he waiting for her to wear herself down? Likely. She took another step to the right and muttered a jutsu.

It was that water thing again. Gaara wondered if she was doing that because she knew it made the sand sluggish or if she just didn't know what else to do.

No matter. The stream was a bit stronger today, she had practiced concentrating her chakra. However, it was still rather… well, underwhelming.

She frowned. Still not strong enough. Gaara took a step towards her and sent a little burst of sand into her chest. It knocked her backwards and she felt a little tightening in her chest. Not good, not good. She grabbed the inhaler from her pocket and gave it another blast, but she moved quickly. So quickly in fact that she forgot to put it back in her pocket. Oblivious to the danger she had caused, she created a clone, dropping the hated, lifesaving hunk of plastic onto the sand.

They both moved in unison, one shooting icicles and the other blasting water. Gaara spiked the sand up underneath them both, dismembering the clone and cracking sand off of Lotus' legs but not before his immediate shield had been drenched and laced with cold water. A fleck landed on his face which startled him.

He then dashed over to her with surprising speed, sweeping one leg under her feet and watching her fall. She rolled to the side and he, without thinking, grabbed a fistful of hair. He pulled her to her feet, tugging her head back slightly and running one finger under her chin like a kunai.

Lotus felt her face flush and the little unmistakable hitch of breath in her throat. This was a rather... compromising position.

"Dead." He had leaned in a little, and Lotus was staring up at him wide eyed. He was very close to her, very, very close. "Your hair is a bit long for a kunoichi, don't you think?" She flushed, which was quite a cute look to her. The pink contrasted against her pale skin and blue-

_**-**__**tinge coming to her lips and the stilling of her struggles…**_

Gaara stared at her a minute more, before he realized what he had done. His mind raced back to that day ten years ago, and Shukaku began to stir.

_Old habits die hard, don't they?_

Lotus' eyes were on his lips, drawn in a tight frown. Then they traveled up to his eyes. They hadn't changed much… She felt a cold spike in her chest.

There was a stirring of a memory. It rustled behind her eyelids and gave her such an uncomfortable feeling and all she could think about was her long hair getting her into trouble. She just wanted to cut it off. She gave a little sound of dismay.

"Let go…" He flinched at the panic in her voice. "Please, let go, please, please." He obliged, still looking a bit distant. He'd done it again, and he felt the most overwhelming urge to apologize. Lotus staggered to the side, still trying to piece her thoughts together.

She remembered someone yanking her hair and pulling, pulling, pulling until she gasped and choked and paled with her throat constricted.

"I'll… be back!" She ran from him leaving him alone with his thoughts while hers chased her away.

He hadn't felt the need to hurt her, she was still okay. He took the small victory and held onto that while Shukaku tried to recapture that day's lust for violence and death, to rekindle Gaara's long lost taste for stale blood.

_She'd be much prettier blue._

His eyes fell on something plastic in the dirt. Her… inhaler?

"Shit." he breathed the word, not one for cursing. He hoped she wouldn't get far.

* * *

Lotus ran and ran, her eyes blurry with stress and her chest constricting painfully. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't care, she just wanted to figure this out and chop off her hair. She found a small alcove in the wall, and she sat.

Her breathing came painfully but she ignored it, digging around for a kunai. She grabbed a thick handful of hair and pulled it to the front. Her hands shook as she lined the black blade up with the white strands of thin hair.

She nicked her fingers in her fumbling cuts, but she continued until her head felt light and off balance and her hair littered the ground at her feet.

She didn't know why, but it made her feel better.

She held one bleeding hand up to the back of her head, grabbing air a few times before she managed to find her new hairline.

As the blood trickled down her fingers, the thoughts came trickling back to her.

* * *

That's that! I am finished with this chapter and I will post it and you will hopefully love it and review it! In a perfect world, perhaps. Personally, I like the first half the best. The rest feels a bit forced so... feedback is highly appreciated. I'm going to be gone until Sunday up at a family thing so I'm going to have to leave you guys hanging. Sorry, don't kill me. -is shot-

**Vocabulary: **

**Human Pillars: This would be referred to as a Hitobashira, or a human pillar. These were sacrificed people, killed for the benefit of a higher order and their bodies were hidden in the pillars of sacred monuments. It symbolized their death supporting the cause.**

**Nato: A fermented soybean that strings up when you pick it up. Tastes like dirty laundry, but is extremely healthy. The strands are actually a special protein produced by the nato, which is also an important protein that your brain benefits from. It is proven to improve memory and prevent some mental deterioration. **

**Goya: Again, bitter melon. I need not repeat myself. Go back a chapter if you've forgotten**

**Cultural note: In Japan, people often compete to see who can pay first. It's usually done from a host to a guest, but the guest is likely to try and refuse and pay for both anyway. It's kind of like a game.**


	9. Explanations and Questions

**Chapter 9: Explanations and Questions**

* * *

Lotus had no idea when Gaara had found her. She had simply looked up from her knees to draw a stinging hand across her streaming eyes and noticed that a tall, silent shadow had settled beside her. His back was against the wall and his head was reclined slightly as he fiddled with the blue hunk of plastic between his fingers.

She allowed her body to loosen a bit, knees spreading slightly and toes uncurling. A few shaky breaths stung her throat before she spoke.

"Sorry… for running off." The boy shrugged, rolling her inhaler between his unfeeling palms. He didn't blame her. How could he? He didn't pretend to understand her feelings, although he was painfully aware of how unpleasant a repressed memory could be.

It's like peeling a scar from a healed wound and feeling the trauma come leaking out in a steaming, bloody rush.

He set her breathing aid on her knee, noting the sudden jerk she gave at the contact. It stung a bit, he was trying to reverse his image. Not reinforce it. There was nothing to do but keep trying, he supposed.

The silence was uncomfortable and both were teetering just on the edge of speech. There were a few things to be dealt with but really silence is so much more appealing than speech in extraordinary circumstances.

Lotus hesitantly began. "I… um…" Her lower lip gave a little tremor and she cleared her throat. He noticed the long strands of hair furled around her, his hand resting on a rather long cluster. Her hair had been chopped unevenly up to her ears. The right side had a long clump that hadn't been cut to the same length of the others.

"Why?" she half squeaked it, tears had choked off her voice again. He wasn't sure if she was crying because she was sad or if she was scared. It could have been both.

How did he explain this? Perhaps… from the beginning.

* * *

Jigoku dodged an acidic glob of yellow paint, feeling a sizzle against her hair. Izanami had not shown up, and Enma was having another of "those" days. He seemed to be having quite a few as of late and Jigoku was really starting to hate it. She had always been able to play his little war games rather well, being soft spoken and mild mannered at the best of times. This was ridiculous though. She was sore, and tired, and she hadn't had any time to really heal. It was beginning to affect her rather dramatically. Especially now, as another blob of paint burned a painful welt into her exposed knee.

"Enma-sensei," she panted, landing a bit more clumsily than usual and staggering to the right. "Could you… let up?" he landed behind her and swept her legs out from underneath her with a rough violent kick. She rolled to the side to avoid a curb stomp to the head. "Maybe… please?" The sand stung the overheated wounds on her knees. Oh, that was going to need to be cleaned later.

"Why?" he aimed a punch at her arm and caught her in the shoulder. The red eyed Nomikoto twin landed a few feet over, sliding to a stop at the wall and dropping the chakra to her eye. It turned back to its dull, flat brown and she blinked at the tingle signifying the warm air brushing against her eye again..

"I shouldn't have to suffer for Izanami's stupidity." She pleaded, rubbing the newly forming bruises and feeling her burned ponytail smolder under her fingers. He scoffed and stood up tall. There were a few soft pops as his spine realigned itself.

"Fine, you get fifteen minutes." He turned sharply and marched over to the other side of the wall, propelling himself upwards with a swift jump. He landed and turned, cupping his chin in his palm. Those moody green eyes of his shifted restlessly around the clearing while Jigoku collected herself. She didn't bother reapplying the red screen to her iris. It was completely unnecessary. She only did it because her twin wanted her to and perhaps that was more pathetic than the obviously impractical cosmetic jutsu.

Enma felt a pang of guilt, seeing her sway a bit when she stood again. He had been pretty hard on her and he wasn't really mad at her... He was mad at a certain scrawny little traitor with watery blue eyes and long hair that he just wanted to rip out of her stupid, moronic, numb skull... He breathed in, he breathed out. He was calm, he was cool he was perfectly fine.

"Ji-chan…" he called. She flinched, thinking he might have decided to get back to training sooner than he'd agreed. "I'm sorry."

That was new. She walked slowly over to and up the wall until she had settled herself near Enma. "What's up, Enma?" she dropped the sensei crap. That was a condition that she followed during training and no other time. She had known him for more than ten years and he was barely a year older than her. He was good, but not that good. "You seem…" Ah, vicious? Moody? Like you're on your Man-strual cycle? "Tense." What a nice word that was.

He shrugged, tapping one foot lightly against the sandstone beneath his foot. It was better if she didn't know. He was aware that she probably did anyway. He hadn't been very stoic as of late and Jigoku was very, very aware of other people.

Jigoku was fairly astute, which was what made her a powerful addition to the team. She could get into an enemy's head and reduce them to a crying strip of meat in seconds with nothing more than a few harsh words. Dissecting a friend's problem, in this case a school yard crush, was child's play.

"I think Lotus will be okay." She said it cautiously. "He seems to be treating her well enough." His mouth twitched and she scooted away a fraction of a centimeter. Volatile shinobi at close range were not on her list of things to deal with that day.

"It's been two and a half days." He kicked the wall a bit harder, watching a chip of the brick go flitting down to join its sandy brethren. "It signifies nothing." He kicked the wall hard enough to leave a little crater and Jigoku jumped. Really, now, defacing public property?

"Still." Jigoku stretched, and hooked one leg through his to stop that infernal tapping sound he was producing. "Lotus told me to tell you that she thought you were doing a good job." Enma froze and his eyes softened.

He curled up a bit, his body falling in on itself as all of the anxieties about being a good leader, a good teacher dissipated into nothing. Not a failure. Not a failure.

It was times like this that made him a little more tolerable and whole lot more human. Jigoku smiled to herself, happy to see him relax, if only for a moment. She knew his heart was in the right place. He was just… overzealous. Yeah, that.

"Thanks." He stared up at the sky with something close to a smile before his expression returned to its regular sternness. "Back to work."

"What?" Jigoku's eyes widened.

"I said, Back to work!" he grabbed her wrist and dragged her down off the wall, ignoring her protests in favor of tossing her across the ground.

She rolled to the side, watching him retrieve his rather… unusual weapons. He had always fought with acidic and toxic paints and a set of large and small brushes with sharp wire bristles. He was fond of the yellow acid, especially today.

Scrambling to the side, she felt the edge of her sleeve smoke and wisp away. "God dammit, Enma!"

* * *

Izanami slid undetected into place behind Kankuro. He was just leaving the Kazekage's office, looking puzzled that his brother hadn't been there.

He looked up from his feet and jumped, surprised to see his violet eyed shadow staring at him in shock. "What are you doing here?" he asked, almost irritated that she'd snuck up on him like that. It struck him that this might be the girl who had requested Gaara as a teacher.

"I was looking for my friend Lotus." She lied, examining Kankuro as nonchalantly as she could. He had a very handsome, masculine face that was nicely framed by his dark brown hair. Unfortunately that hair was contained in a double pointed hat. He looked a bit like a cat, with purple lines all over his face. "Although, you're a much more welcome sight." She allowed a suggestive little smirk to quirk her lips. He looked _good_in her color.

"Why would she be here?" asked Kankuro, mildly uncomfortable at being so closely examined. He felt like a piece of meat, really. Wasn't this backwards? By social standards, he should be the one objectifying her. Not that he minded much. It was a stroke to his ego, if nothing else.

"She's the Kazekage's pupil." She said, offhandedly and thinly veiling her annoyance at the subject being changed. He should be focusing on her, not Lotus. Lotus had the figure of a seven year old boy, and she was a bombshell. Come on, big boy, look at what's in front of you.

Huh, now that was interesting. Last Kankuro had heard, Gaara had turned this… Lotus girl down. "Are you sure?" She nodded, and he shrugged. He had the utmost confidence in his brother's ability to keep himself in check, so he wasn't going to delve to far into this. Although... he would have liked to be kept in the loop. Gaara had probably forgotten to tell him.

"Well, I don't think Gaara's- er, the Kazekage is here," said Kankuro, scratching the back of his head a bit embarrassedly. "So, your friend probably isn't either." Izanami gave a look of mock disappointment. Okay, she could still get this back on track and her premeditated romance could start again.

"Darn, we were supposed to go to lunch." Kankuro could tell that her story was fabricated and he could see the insincerity in her facial expressions. This girl was just a bit too over the top for her own good and that made her all the more entertaining and interesting. He had no idea what her motivations were and to be perfectly honest he didn't care to. If she was looking for a one night stand, this wasn't quite the way to go about it, and a relationship? What a joke! He wouldn't date anyone unless he was certain of who they were. As a matter of fact, common sense would dictate that any relationship meet those requirements. Keep trying, sweetie.

"Well, I'll see you later." Izanami's eyes widened in genuine surprise and Kankuro almost laughed. This was not what she had expected to happen and he was going to cash in on this. He had always loved teasing people, his sister, occasionally Gaara, his first grade teacher...Kankuro seemed to read her mind because his face split in a little smile. She was thinking that perhaps, she could persuade him to spend some time with her and show him what a great catch she was.

"What? You're not asking me out are you?" he asked and she floundered for a response. She was flustered, this never happened. She was the one who instigated and boys usually picked up on her queues without question. This boy was turning the tables on her and she wasn't sure if she liked it.

He gave her a rendition of her own sultry smile, winking a bit mischievously. "Like I said before," he leaned in close to her ear. "You're laying it on too thick." He watched her face turn red before he walked away laughing to himself.

Let her have a taste of her own medicine.

Izanami, meanwhile stood in the street, her heart pounding and her face burning. What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

Lotus had listened to his entire story, from the time of his giving up on humanity to his fight with Uzumaki Naruto to now. Gradually she had stopped crying, and her body had released itself from its tight, curled form. She had leaned a bit closer to him, close enough that he could smell the blood on her hand. Not that he hadn't earlier; it had actually had a lot to do with how he had found her.

"Oh." That was all she could say.

Gaara nodded at the vocalization, looking away from her and wanting nothing more than to go home. He just wanted to have some time to think and be quiet, drink some tea...

"Do you have any desire of finishing our training session today?" he pressed his index finger to his temple, keeping his voice steady despite the frustration and guilt and strange torrent of thoughts bashing clumsily through his head. He wasn't used to this whole feeling thing.

"I…" she paused. "I, uh…" It was strange, really. She had expected that feeling of panic to remain, but it hadn't. As soon as he had come around the corner with her inhaler held like an offering, she had almost felt ashamed for overreacting. Training didn't sound bad, but Gaara looked very tired.

"I do… but, maybe I could try and convince Enma to train with me, just for today." She offered it, gently. Gaara wasn't sure if this was her way of telling him that she no longer wanted to train with him, or if she was sparing him what promised to be a very, very long day.

"Are you... interested in continuing?" he asked, almost... scared of the answer. Lotus blinked in surprise, her round hollow eyes giving her an owlish expression.

"Wh- what? Of course!" Panic once again spiked in her chest. Was he backing out? Oh, no, no, no. This could not happen. "I'm sorry, no, really. I want to keep training with you and you look so tired... and sick... and I just thought... are you okay?"

He nodded and grimaced slightly, the smell of blood intensifying just a bit as Shukaku grew bored with their mild and uneventful conversation.

_She's awfully naïve to forgive you so quickly. You haven't really even apologized._

Gaara was struck by the bijuu's statement. He hadn't apologized.

_What, you're going to? Please, spare me. What a pointless gesture. _

The demon's derision only strengthened his resolve.

The only question was… how?

* * *

**Edited, bitches! I like this a lot better. It feels more natural and less choppy. Hope you guys like it, because I am much more pleased. Yes, this pleases the Mej Beast.**


	10. Strings Attached

**Chapter 10: Strings Attached**

* * *

Lotus walked slowly to where her team should be training, working from her memory. Lotus had a pretty good memory, with the exclusion of near death experiences which is why Enma had moved training spots anytime that Lotus found them. And as the places became progressively more hidden, this matter required her full attention, so after she had given Gaara a half hearted goodbye, she had set off walking. Her eyes had been glued to the ground and it hadn't even occurred to her that she was being followed. The little brown sphere of sand hovered behind her, sticking to the shadows and darting just out of the reach of her vision.

Ten paces behind the fountain, first right after your left... she counted them quietly, eyes squinting slightly in oridnance with her intense concentration. Down this alley and...

"More deliberate movements, Jigoku." She had found them, alright. Jigoku was looking a bit the worse for the wear, and much to Lotus' surprise, Izanami hadn't shown up yet.

Lotus knew she could be late but this was ridiculous. Not to mention selfish, considering that Jigoku would be all alone to bear the brunt of Enma's fury. Maybe she should have a talk with her later...

"Lotus?" Jigoku's voice only just concealed her pleasure at having someone else there to distract Enma. Enma, on the other hand, snapped his head to the side and stared her down with some unreadable emotion in his eyes. It was the same look he got when he'd kissed her for the first time, after their millionth argument, after they'd just stopped being a thing. Her insides squirmed under the intense gaze. His expression soon morphed into something almost comical on his usually blank face. His narrowed eyes widened and then squinted before widening again.

She watched both of them blink, blink and then take a step forward as they took in her new look. She pressed one hand to the back of her head in embarrassment and felt her face turn a very faint shade of pink. Did they have to stare? Really...?

"Um..." Lotus scuffed the ground with her shoe. "Hi."

"Your... hair..." said Jigoku, one of her eyes squinted as she examined Lotus. Enma nudged her, hissing something sharply between his teeth. "*It's nice." she looked at the ground, like Lotus, and shuffled a foot. "Really, I like it." That wasn't entirely a lie. It just needed a bit of refinement. She was certain that she and Izanami could do something.

"It's much more practical." supplied Enma, looking at her encouragingly. Lotus nodded her thanks at the insincere compliments. At least they weren't laughing.

"Sorry I'm late guys... I had to... to..." Izanami came trotting up behind Lotus words trailing off as she too lay eyes on her friend's haircut. She snickered which morphed into a long, high pitched cackle. She snorted and hunched over, slapping her knees and wheezing with mirth. "Y- your hair! What'd you do, lose a bet?!" Lotus' face flushed and her eyes narrowed. Her lips puckered slightly in indignation and she finally decided to shut her dear friend up. It wasn't hard either, Izanami was so incapacitated by her amusement that she hardly noticed the quick hand signs and the murmured jutsu. Before she had even managed to collect herself, she was dripping wet with ice cold water.

Izanami blinked in surprise before she took on her usual cocky smirk. "Oh, is that how it is?" Lotus didn't respond, turned and crossed her arms in indignation. She tried not to show how nervous she was. Izanami was kind of... dangerous when she got mad. Shit, think things through, Lotus. "Bring it on, bitch! Just cause your hair's fucked up doesn't mean mine has to be." she took on a fighting stance, looking ready to rip Lotus' head off. Izanami hated to be wet.

"Friend or not, I'll-" Enma cleared his throat and took a few steps in between the two. He thumped Izanami on the head lightly.

"Be nice." he mouthed, which shocked the dripping wet kunoichi into obediance. She slunk over to Jigoku's side, pouting. "What brings you here?" asked Enma, a small kernal of hope popping into his chest. Maybe she had come to her senses and he could stop worrying about her with that freak. He would do better this time, and he would rekindle their friendship and he would... Oh, he didn't know. What he'd do wasn't important. What mattered was that he was in control again.

"So... the Kazekage had some business to tend to," she lied, as convincingly as possible, "So I was wondering if I could train with you?" Enma's optimism shriveled in an instant and he felt his usual sour expression leak back into his green eyes. Lotus misread his expression as she put up both hands.

"Just for today?" she amended. He had to let her train with him, just for today? He had been so nice just a few seconds ago. Let it last... let it last... for the love of all things pure and holy in the ninja world _please _let it last. She caught sight of a small brown orb drifting behind her head. She glanced around for it, but it seemed to have vanished.

"No." he turned on his heel and prepared to ignore her. God, he hated her sometimes. He ought to train with her just so he could kick her ass.

"What?" she blinked and stared at him, her eyes boring holes into the back of his head. "Why not?" she didn't bother hiding her anger. What kind of a joke was this?

"It's a waste of time, you won't learn anything from me." He quipped, picking one of the sharp bristles of his largest paint brush. "Besides, what could I teach you that _he _couldn't?" It was a childish statement, but he didn't care. It felt good, sometimes, to resort to low blows.

Lotus' eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak. She was surprised when Jigoku beat her to it.

"I'm sorry, but Enma?" she walked over to the two, her normally slumped posture straightened a bit. "That's the dumbest thing I've heard. It's just for a day, so let her train with us." He glared down at her, waiting for her to cave and be quiet. She didn't, although he did notice the her shoulders hunched a bit.

_Hold it together, Ji-chan. _She thought, allowing a rush of chakra to shift to her eyes and turn them red. Yeah, that would add some drama.

"Check yourself." he said, slowly, almost more angry with her. Who's side was the little bitch on?

"If you don't let her train with us today, then Izanami and I will take today off." Enma seemed unimpressed at that. "Or, perhaps you'd prefer I tell Lotus about your lingering schoolyard crush?" His eyes seemed to darken again, but he relented.

He turned back around and glared at Lotus while Jigoku skipped back over to her sister, slapping her a high five.

"Nice."

"Thanks, Nami-chan." Enma cast them a look before he began to speak again.

"You can train with us today on one condition." Lotus quirked one eyebrow, a bit concerned at the thought of a strings attatched lesson. However, she needed consistant lessons to improve and she was going to improve!

"What are they?"

"You will sparr with me, and if you lose the match, you will no longer train with the Kazekage." he wrinkled his nose slightly at the word. The little menace to society had hardly earned that title. "If you win, you can train with the Kazekage and I will let you train with us whenever you deem it appropriate." He seemed satisfied with himself while Lotus stood there floundering for a shred of comprehension at what he'd just said. Those were... some very concrete consequences. She didn't know if she could commit to that. She had always been uncertain of her decisions, but really, this was just plain cruel.

Lotus took a step backwards. "Really, Enma, this is unnecessary."

"Those are the conditions." he leaned forward, a cold little smile playing around his mouth. "Take them, or leave." She grimaced and began to fly through all of the reasons she should or should not accept these conditions. Perfect, he'd won. He might catch hell from Izanami and Jigoku, but at least. He'd. Won.

On the one hand, she wanted to kick his butt and wipe that smirk off his face, and he had insulted her teacher. Despite her terror this morning, she still held him in the highest regard. Call her a moron, but she admired his attempts at changing.

On the other hand, she had only had a training session and a half. That was nowhere near enough time to improve. This wasn't a bad 80's movie where things happened in elapsed time with upbeat and irritatingly catchy music. Enma was pissed, so undoubtedly he was going to be fighting as hard as he could. She was off balance from the dramatic lack of hair. She was tired from crying. She didn't want to wash paint stains out of her clothes.

"Well?"

* * *

Gaara frowned lightly, two fingers pressed against his right eye as he watched his student. He had assumed there'd be some issues with her training with them, but this was ridiculous. Should he intercede? Should he let this pan out, and hope for the best. Really, this felt like unintentional voyeurism. With a sigh, he began to release the jutsu… Then again, it would be good to see how she faired under pressure. A shinobi had to be able to think under pressure.

Curiosity was a bitch.

* * *

Lotus grit her teeth and nodded. "Fine. Have it your way." She took the kumite stance and watched as Enma stared her down in irate confusion. Oh, really? This was a new thing? Whoops.

"J- just forget it." Izanami and Jigoku leapt to the wall, sitting together.

"Go, Lotus!" shrieked Izanami, still sopping wet and looking somewhat ridiculous as she pumped her arms and legs. "Kick his lily ass!" Enma's back stiffened and the look of irritation that seeped into his acidic green eyes was almost frightening.

"Izanami…" her sister said warningly.

Lotus leapt to the side and watched him warily. He wasn't taking this battle very seriously: He took his sweet time picking up his gear. He swirled paint on one of his smaller brushes, the ones he usually threw like kunais. He examined it carefully, as if he were really going to paint something vibrant and yellow.

It was dripping with the dangerous color when he finally flung it. It came whizzing at her face and she spouted a small stream of water to counteract it, mindful of her chakra. An asthma attack here would be truly unfortunate. The paint sizzled in the air before it was thrown off course and splattered uselessly against the wall.

"That all you got?" said Lotus, sarcastically. Stay confident, you can do this... maybe. He quirked an eyebrow, racing forward in a blinding zigzag. He appeared beside her, knocking her aside with his elbow and watching her slide across the ground and coming to rest in a small, gathered mountain of sand. She pushed herself back up and prepared for another hit as he charged her again. She kicked one knee up, watching him flinch as she landed a kick into his stomach.

"Aim lower!"

"Izanami…"

He staggered to the side, but quickly regained his balance. "Suiton: suiben." She hissed, snapping it at his feet and watching him lift one foot, then the other. She continued to aim for his feet, watching him avoid it with the most minimalist movements she'd seen. After a few moments of this, he stepped over the rope almost effortlessly and Lotus couldn't help but feel the scene a bit anticlimactic. Nothing? She needed to work on her aim.

"That's it? A water jump rope?" he asked, innocently. Lotus narrowed her eyes and tried to think. What could she do? She gulped, hoping this would work.

She flung the whip around Enma's feet again, and he prepared to step away before she released the jutsu and the sand around him became thick and soupy with water. His foot sunk and he found himself trapped as the ground began to suck his foot deeper.

"Suiton: Mizurappa." Enma was now just as wet as Izanami and staring at her from under his wet hair. He sighed and lifted his hands, clapping slowly.

"Very good. You can make a rudimentary trap. That doesn't mean you've won." She leapt forward and kicked him, fully intending to follow Izanami's advice when the Enma in front of her dissolved into a green, sizzling puddle. Lotus cringed, feeling her clothes rip at the knee and feeling the telltale burn on the pale skin underneath.

Two hands grabbed her from behind and threw her aside. "*Over here..." Lotus gave a little cry as Enma stood over her, a smug look in his green eyes. "Give up yet?" She said nothing, only glared. "Really, you should. Besides, it doesn't look like your hero's made much difference in your mediocrity." Anger lit an acidic coil in her stomach and she kicked up with one foot, feeling him grab it with one hand.

This was what she had hoped would happen. She gathered all of her chakra and fired her mizurappa at full force and infusing as much cold into it as possible. The resulting ice spear grazed his cheek and he lurched to the side to avoid it. She then stood up and punched him full force in the face.

It wasn't a powerful punch, but it was bony and it _hurt. _Enma toppled over and grabbed his nose, which was now bleeding quite profusely.

"Yes! Yes! Lotus won!"

"Jigoku, calm down."

* * *

Gaara smiled slightly to himself, quite pleased with Lotus' victory. If he was honest, this had been a complete matter of luck. Sure, she had taken one concept he'd taught her and used her newfound skills of observation but he'd had very little to with it. If the cocky little bastard hadn't jumped ahead of himself, he could have swept the desert with her. Nonetheless, her progress after a training session and half? That was pretty good. Gaara released the jutsu and began to walk home.

* * *

Lotus walked cautiously over to Enma who made no comment as he stood up, still pressing his fingers into the bridge of his nose. He didn't say anything to her, rather he couldn't. She was a little faster, and just a little bit stronger since the last time he'd seen her. The knowledge stung.

"So, what are we working on today?" Enma didn't respond, simply motioned for the twins to relinquish their perch on the wall and join them down in the training ground. "Enma?"

"You are not training with us." He said finally. Voice shaking with rage and maybe just a hint of embarrassment. Blood dripped down his hand, gathering in the folds of his hitae ate scarf.

"What?!" Izanami, Jigoku and Lotus' voices mixed into quite an impressive cacophony. Enma flinched at the sound, but he remained firm. "But… but you said…"

"I said if you beat me..."

"And I did!" His eyes narrowed. Yes, by a technicality you little...

"Well, I lied." Lotus' too long mouth curled down. She had worked hard for that, and if she was perfectly honest she had barely won that. She deserved that training session and she was going not letting the fucker squirm out of it.

"You.. You…" she pointed one finger at him and began to walk forward. You... good one. What now, Shakespeare?

Two bodies flanked her. "You know what? Forget him. We'll teach you today." Said Izanami, her anger enough to cause her chakra screen to her eyes to falter. Her teeth poked through her grimace as her anger was made known. Her fingers were digging painfully into Lotus' bony shoulder.

"Yeah. I know I've had enough of him for today." Jigoku and Izanami both pressed their hands to Lotus' shoulders before whirling her around and beginning to march off.

Enma watched them leave uncaringly, and felt his anger dry up. He could feel their bonds tightening, coiling, stretching and he felt almost certain that they were going to snap. And soon. Their friendship was in danger. For what? Because he was protective? Because he cared? That was complete and utter bullshit. He felt his anger rise up again, singeing the back of his eye lids. If they couldn't understand why he was so hard on them, or why he tried so hard to keep them safe, perhaps they would be better off not being friends. He most certainly could use the peace of mind.

* * *

_Enma walked home slowly, thoughts drifting to that little girl. Would she be okay? He'd never known anyone to survive an attack from Sabaku no Gaara and return unscathed. If not physically destroyed, then they were severely damaged mentally. He really hoped she'd be okay, she was so small..._

_"Hey!" He turned and saw her running towards him, her long hair streaking behind her. "Hey, thanks! You saved me!" she smiled at him, her wide blue eyes sparkling in the light. He shrugged, boyish aversion taking hold. _

_"'S nothing." he mumbled, embarrassed at how close she was._

_"What's your name?"_

_"Enma. And yours?"_

_"Lotus." Lotus, that was unusual. _

_"That's a weird name." he laughed, freezing slightly when he noticed how the laughter seemed to hurt her feelings. "But I like it." he said finally, a looking away, but smiling nonetheless. She laughed in delight, and he decided that he liked that sound. It was so sweet and innocent. He was going to protect that, no matter what._

_"Where do you live, Lotus-chan?" he asked, picking the tiny thin up and slinging her over his back. "I'll escort you home."_

* * *

_"What the hell are you two arguing about?!" he turned around in class abruptly, watching the Nomikoto twins argue over their team assignment. He had another name for them: The Village Idiot and her Shadow. Although they had been friends for years, ever since he had seen them dancing in the *Sunagakure Toro Matsuri. They had seemed so elegant and graceful and charming... how very wrong he'd been. They froze and stared at him, unnatural eyes flickering back to brown as the shock disrupted their concentration. That was such a juvenile trick and it was so unnerving when their eyes flickered like that._

_Izanami, the village idiot, smiled and batted her eyelashes. "Nothing, Enma-sensei." Her shadow rolled her eyes and slugged her in the shoulder._

_"She's mad that I'm on the team with her. She thinks that I'll ruin her chances with y-" Izanami clapped a hand over her sister's mouth, hissing insults into her ear. He frowned. How frivolous. _

_"Well, knock it off. Team assignments are team assignments." He looked double checked the list, rereading the last name over and over to make sure that this was really happening. _

_Koorine Lotus_

_Good, now he could keep an eye on her and these other two. Nothing would hurt his friends. Nothing._

* * *

"You're welcome guys." he muttered, pushing off and walking out into the desert for a while, and watching the overheated dusk settle over the village.

* * *

REWRITE! REWRITE! Oh, baby I'm on a roll! That's embarrassing even to type.

*Homage to Fluttershy from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. Yes, I do have a problem, No I do not want help.

*Have you every played a Naruto Clash of Ninja Revolution game? They say that every fucking time they perform a substitution jutsu. It drives me batty.

*Sunagakure Toro Matsuri: The actual festival is called the Yamaga Toro Matsuri but I felt like adapting it for this story because that shit is pretty cool. 1,000 women, old, young, it don't matter. This festival is a honey badger, will dance to a three movement song while wearing a flickering gold or silver toro, or lantern on their head. I danced in it while I was in Japan, and I will tell you it is pretty awesome! So, I figured that Suna should get a cool festival too. It'll make a comeback in a later chapter, too, so bear that in mind.

Hope you like it, please read and review. And if you don't, thanks for reading or faving or following. Whatevah.


	11. Disruptive

**Alright, my little lemon drops. Here's the deal. I'm going to Arkansas for the next two weeks and I will not be updating any stories while I'm there out of respect to my 70+ year old Grandparents. Hope that this can keep you entertained until my glorious and highly anticipated return.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Disruptive**

* * *

"Are we actually going to train?" asked Lotus, trying to keep the despair from her voice as her head was tilted to the side. She felt another little tug on the longest chunk of hair as Izanami folded the separate strands together. "I mean, ow!" she flinched as she gave the now finished decoration a testing tug. "As fun as this is... _Ow!_" Lotus felt Izanami tie something to the braid and pull again.

"Izanami, I think you should stop now." Jigoku watched Lotus' face twist in pain as her head was pulled to the side.

"But... Jigoku... her _hair!" _To illustrate, she pulled a fistful of the uneven, choppy mess up to the light.

"Ow!"

"It's not the most important thing right now." said Jigoku, panicking. Izanami was going to break her neck if she wasn't careful...

"Says who?" Izanami looked as if she'd been struck. The very idea that outward appearance was not everything, if not the _only _thing that Lotus should be worried about was as ass backwards as a happy Enma. Her sister must be mad.

"Says me." Lotus lifted one hand weakly, trying to get their attention. Izanami pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes before sighing heavily and holding her palms to the sky. _I give up! _her body said. _It's too much! _She sighed again and crossed her arms, throwing one hip out to express her irritation. She narrowed one eye and frowned.

"Fine, what do you want to know?" Lotus blinked. That was unexpected.

"I, uh... I want to... Hm." she paused, rolling the little ribbon dangling from her hair between her fingers. "Do you know anything about genjutsu?" Izanami's face went blank for a minute.

"Genjutsu, huh?" She tried to think back to something Enma had been saying about those. It evaded her and finally she cast her sister a hopeful look.

"Hm, I know a little." said Jigoku, fidgeting under the sudden attention. "It's actually not as hard as you'd think." Lotus gave a little sigh of relief. That's nice to know.

"You just need a transmittor." she said, looking her over. Seeing the blank look on Lotus' face she continued, "Oh, it's not a big deal. A genjutsu affects the senses, but I think almost every single one I've ever seen used a sound save for a few Kekkei Genkai involving the eyes." Izanami and Lotus both looked as lost as ever. There was a very small, sharp pang of irritation which she quickly swallowed back down. Patience, patience...

"You know, bells? *Shakuhachi? *Taiko?" Lotus' face lit up. A jutsu that used music? Now this was something she could get behind! Her hobby might just be the key to unlocking her true potential as a kunoichi! And it was _**music!**_

"How about voice?" she asked, excitedly, almost bouncing up and down in anticipation. Jigoku smiled.

"Yes, I think voice will be just fine."

* * *

Lotus was early the next day, which was hardly surprising. She was excited to show Gaara her new trick. She really hoped he'd be impressed because she had stayed up all night working on this. There was a rustle behind her and Lotus darted to the side, hands poised to sign a jutsu or two and start the fight. Eyes roaming the empty space, she realized that no one was there. The dead tree was baking in the sun, turning a bleached bone color as the tips wilted near the ends. The sand was beginning to rise up over the stump, as if reclaiming a lost treasure, and Lotus was conveniently posed beside these relics. Alone. With no reason to be freaking out.

But if she was truly alone, what was that noise? She heard it again and she allowed her itching fingers to rest near her kunai pouch. "Gaara?" she called, hesitantly. This was something out of *Ringu, right here. She wondered if there were *yurei around here...

"Yes?" before she could even react to the sound, sand crawled up her body and solidified into place, forming the protective barrier around her person. She had nearly jumped out of her skin, and her body rebelled against that not too distant memory of sand crushing down on her chest...

"Lotus...?" She shook her head and smiled, although her eyes remained a bit wide and he noticed the slight increase in her breathing.

"Fine, fine. Totally fine. Nothing wrong over here." she chirped, rubbing one hand agains the back of her head. She had decided to rebraid the strand, the way Izanami had the previous day and the ribbon tickled her wrist. It was a soothing gesture and she felt herself relaxing. Oh, right! The genjutsu!

"I actually have something to show you!" she smiled with a much more genuine curve of her lips. He leaned back slightly, rocking back on his heels.

"Oh?" She nodded and looked around the clearing for another sign of life. Clouds, dead tree, sandstone wall, bird... Oh! A bird. She clasped her hands and focused, bringing up an image of someplace dark and empty. "*Kyomu o kakon!" she hissed, and she sang very softly, aiming at the bird. Gaara realized what she was doing a second too late.

* * *

"Lotus!" he froze, the sun had vanished and everywhere around him was dark. It was quiet except for the faint warped melody of Lotus' genjutsu. He wasn't sure how long he'd been here or when he'd get out. It was dark, so dark and he was utterly alone.

There was no voice in his head, not even a voice in his throat. There were no outward stimuli. He couldn't even hear himself breathing. Was he alive anymore? Could he even scream?

He lifted a hand to the front of his face, but he couldn't feel his arm move, he couldn't see his hand. This feeling of nothingness was terrifying, and he had been here for so long...

* * *

Lotus looked up from the bird which had begun to flutter away before the jutsu affected it. The creature seemed to lock up in flight before slamming head first into the sandstone wall and lying very, very still upon the ground. Lotus gasped, dropping the jutsu in an instant. She hadn't meant to hurt the poor thing, but... well, that's why she'd chosen to use an animal.

She looked over her shoulder to see if Gaara had witnessed her breakthrough.

Gaara blinked once, twice, three times at the sudden overstimulation of his environment. Warmth seeped sluggishly back into his limps and he saw his hand stretched in front of his face. She had dropped the jutsu apparently. He slowly curled his fingers and shook the other hand, bending his knees slightly. Everything was working, he was the same as when he'd entered the jutsu.

"Gaara, did you see me?" she sounded hopeful. "Did you see the jutsu? I think it worked..."

"Yes. It worked." She smiled, and clapped her hands. Finally, she had done something right.

"You got me too." her smile vanished in an instant. She had? Oh, no, no, no, that was bad. If it had been bad on the bird, it must have been bad on him...

"You...?"

"This jutsu affects everyone exposed to the transmission." he said simply. Lotus could feel herself blushing underneath her borrowed armor. She really couldn't do anything right. Gaara could sense her disappointment. He decided that she was looking at this in the wrong way.

"It works." he said simply, ignoring the shudder that was vibrating in his chest. **And it is horrible, **he thought. "That's what matters. You just need to know when to use it now." he said, taking his kumite stance.

Lotus followed, still seeming depressed. They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before Lotus gave a low bow. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea it would-"

"It's fine. Just don't use it again today." he cut her off. This was not the time. Lotus nodded and the two leapt back to begin their third day of training.

* * *

By the end of the session, Lotus had been "killed" three times and was now trapped under Gaara's gourd. She had managed to last fifteen minutes per match by throwing her voice to mask her location. She was catching on to this sensory thing.

"Much better." he said, finally. He rolled the gourd off of Lotus' back with his foot, extending a hand to help her back up. "Really." he attempted a smile, but his mouth felt stiff. Gaara hoped he hadn't made her feel worse with that feeble attempt. Maybe he should just stick to encouraging words.

She nodded silently, taking his hand and standing up.

_Incoming._

Lotus had a misstep somewhere as she got back to her feet. It was probably as the armor came rushing off of her in a thick crumbling wave and she suddenly found her face inches from Gaara's own.

She could count the scarred slashes making up his kanji. She could make out the almost invisible pupil of his eyes. She could feel the heat radiating from his chest and the very firm and steady beating of his heart.

Lotus had never realized how human he was.

He felt her tiny, fragile frame press into him and found one hand grabbing at her other arm to keep her from falling. They were very close. He could feel the cool air coming from between her lips as she stared up at him in something very close to awe.

She was prettier than he'd first thought. He swallowed and took a step back, leaving his hand pressed to her arms to keep her stable.

_Why don't you just kiss her and get it over with?_

He leaned forward a bit, wondering what that would feel like. Had he every kissed anybody?

_Are you going to? _He was tempted. More tempted than he should have, and the realization of his weakness was enough to ground him firmly in reality. Teacher and student only. The last thing he needed was another outlet for the demon's appetites. Or his own, he realized with a flush of guilt. When had he become so human?

No. He wasn't going to kiss her. He decided that this was crossing a line and he was going to stop it. He swallowed and took a step back, leaving his hand pressed to her arms to keep her stable. "You okay?" he inquired after a moment of this strangely appreciative silence.

She nodded and blinked as if coming back to herself. "Yeah... sorry. Again. Really, I'm sorry." He nodded his forgiveness, tearing his eyes from her face to stare at a large chip in the wall behind her.

"Yeah." He was going to leave now and forget this strange new feeling. This one wasn't entirely unpleasant, but he needed to forget it. It was... a very unstable feeling and he didn't like it.

"Tomorrow, then." he turned and disappeared.

* * *

Lotus sat down against the tree, feeling her face turn red as her mind filled in the gap. He had been very, very, very close to her face and he had seemed almost... interested in her. And she found that thought almost intoxicating. Of course, she had probably imagined most of it. There was no way that he was interested in a skinny, gawky thing like her. But, still... if there was any chance that it had been real, how amazing would that be? She pressed her hand to her heart, feeling it flutter nervously.

* * *

_What was that?_

Gaara kept walking, keeping his mind forcibly blank. He knew what was coming, Shukaku had attempted to cash in on moments like these before and Gaara was uninterested. Completely. He was not going to view Lotus as a sexual object. She was innocent, and uncertain, and small and completely helpless. Besides, Gaara had no time for matters of the flesh. He was uninterested, and he was going to keep it that way.

Still, he wondered what just one kiss would feel like.

* * *

ERMAGERD FLUFF! Yahp, it's happened. I hope you guys like this as it was rushed. I have to go to bed, I'm getting up in three hours and twenty minutes to get ready for a flight to Arkansas to visit my dear old grandparents. If you like it, comment, if you don't, comment, and I'll get back to you, fix it, whatever. I need sleep...

*Ringu- That's the Japanese version of The Ring. It's much more detailed in the Japanese version.

*Yurei- A Japanese ghost. The most common type is a pale woman with long black hair and a white robe. In Japan, white is the color of demons, mourning, and death.

*Kyomu o Kakon- I made up this jutsu name, don't shoot me. It means Encircled by Nothingness. That's exactly what it did.

*Miso- In an earlier chapter, I said that Jigoku was drinking this for breakfast. I am here to tell you that in Japan, you do in fact drink Miso soup with breakfast, lunch, and or dinner. It is a method of hydration as it is hellishly hot and humid over there. It's full of everything from pumpkin, to seaweed to fish. Oh, and tofu. Lots of tofu.


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